Failed Paradise » lifestyle

Get Your Fix. Now.

Wilson — Fri, 07 Nov 2008 04:57:00 +0000

Long hours and caffine go hand in hand with anyone working long, urban hours into the wee morning. Be it making a seemingly unending quest to balance the books, prepare your papers for the upcoming case, or just maybe trying to down that last boss in the dungeon so that you all can call it quits, most people with a desk job have experienced such a grueling regime. Generally, such time consuming endeavours require a sharp mind, keen eyes and a steady hand, but with the hours wearing on, staying on your toes, let alone awake, becomes somewhat of a chore.

Desparate measures to stay awake include blasting music, slapping your own face, printing a large picture of goatse and sticking it beside your screen, and the time honoured tradition of injecting stimulants into your blood stream to keep your body alert and alive or drinking caffeine.

Strange Pants, a dedicated coder, knows only too well the rigours of caffeine drinking in all its delirious forms and flavours. And in a post that shows off his extensive knowledge of all things skyhigh, he has not only laid out what ingredients make for a good energy drink, but also listed all the best energy drinks that are available in Suva (sorry all non-suvarians – check your instores for supplies if available). From the infamous fly-through-the-windscreen “V” to the popular and more classier “Espresso” (with whipped cream mind you).

A recommended read for all those who burn the midnight oil. And the occassional forum post.

[Original Link]

6 Signs Fiji is nearing ‘Civilization’ Quality

Wilson — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 09:49:00 +0000

source: dashh.typepad.com

Having come in contact with several tourists over the past few weeks and hearing their impressions of Fiji, it dawned upon me how far we’ve progressed from its days of head hunting, neighbour eating, and selective afro growing. A simple stroll through town will reveal important looking businessmen sealing important deals on their important cell phones, while children hum along to the latest hip hop/pop/reggae tunes with the help of their iPods. Giggling teenage girls compare their latest trendy buys from fashion stores around the corner, and in the midst of this all, various street modded cars zoom around, blaring ‘Gasolina’ through their daddy bought speakers.

source: www.maskworld.com

Sure we see these things everyday, but to the first time tourist, first impressions last. Out of curiosity, I decided to take a look around and tried to see things from their point of view. When a tourist first sets foot on our land, he/she would run through a mental checklist that may include whether or not the locals have electricity, (running off assumption here folks, feel free to think otherwise) running water or anything that represents said ‘civilization’.

Of course, as all locals know, Fiji passed that test a long time ago, and then some. While I’d like to think that we’ve come a long way, lets take a look at exactly how much has progressed since good ol’ Bligh set sea-weary eyes upon our infamous shores.

1) We got McDonalds

source: www.flickr.com

Nothing says global commercialization like Mcdonalds. When you can open up a small version of 1st world ideals in the remotest parts of the world, Fiji doesn’t seem that far off from everyone else. Considering the fact that the first branch was opened in Nadi, the gateway to Fiji (thanks in no small part to their airport), the golden arches are a welcome sight to all incoming tourists familiar with fast food and the slightly creepy mascot. When the second branch opened in Suva, we knew they were here to stay.

2) We got Internet

source: www.flickr.com

The world became that much smaller when the internet was brought to Fiji. From that fateful day when Telecom introduced the concept of shared communication, we were never the same. Imagine – now we could keep in touch with the rest of the cool people from around the world via MSN! Now we could read the latest news of what was going on continents away and not have to wait for the 6pm local news! Email made itself at home with both business houses and private homes alike, spam and all. Porn was no longer restricted to the tattered, well thumbed magazines that were a few years old, but was readily available in all its full, DVD quality glory! Of course, the hourly disconnects were a pain, as were the high phone bills due to the numerous reconnection attempts the computer modem made to the overloaded telecom server, but it was a small price to pay for downloaded seasons of The Simpsons and Takashi’s Castle.

3) We got MTV

source: image.vinylpulse.com

Albit on a pay channel, but still! To prove that Fiji is up-to-date with all that is ‘hip’ and ‘cool’ (makes alien ears sign with fingers), we brought MTV to our shores, and the corruption of the future generation began anew. To be honest, it was (correct me if I’m wrong) the Coca-cola Power Jammer that started it all, but the influence of MTV cannot be denied. Even today, we can see the influence of such a life style, with krump and local hip hop in full bloom. Where will this all go from here? Who knows?

4) We get Movies before Australia and New Zealand (sometimes)

source: myfijiguide.com

For serious? Well…to the best of my knowledge, yes. We, the little country in the middle of the pacific, constantly pushed around by the upper powers of the 1st world country watch dogs (or so the left wing conspiracists would like to believe), by some strange powers that be, have Hollywood movies that open first at our beloved Damodar Village cinemas first, before they even see the light of the projector in Australia and New Zealand. I may have to check now to see if that still happens, but when I was growing up, it was common knowledge to people who had just arrived from Australia or New Zealand that movies that had already run their screening course in Fiji were just beginning to open there. This, I believe, is something worth investigating

5) We got more than one television channel

source: www.sarnil.com

The ultimate pointer when deciding whether Fiji is still in the dark ages or has settled amongst the stars. One locally produced television channel in a country is mandatory, when the infrastructure has been set up by the local government and set in motion. We were there once. Fiji One Television dominated the … television landscape for so long, it seemed almost blasphamous to even think of having an additional station take up space on our local tv screens. Who out there was brave enough to take on the titan that was Fiji TV? Not only did they bring us ER, Seasame Street, and X-Files, but for a time (all too brief in my opinion) they provided BBC free to air during off peak hours. That was awesome. However, after showing Hercules reruns again and again, another channel didn’t look so bad, and with the government breaking open the tv market, it was only a matter of time before Mai TV stepped in to provide an alternative. And we were happy.

6) We got ~~four~~ two lane roads (corrected because I’m a noob)

source: www.istockphoto.com

This particular point is something close to my dear heart. In the dark ages of single lane roads between Suva and Nausori, traffic jams were such a common occurance that I began to believe that all of civilization ran on roads such as ours. Seeing multi-lane roads in the US through movies was an eye opener to what we were missing out here. Then, lo and behold, the government (then ) stepped in and began the arduous task of building a highway that had – what? 2 lanes? No. Way. But it happened! Now queues are a thing of the past (in the old queue places, but with poor planning, bottling up of traffic happens else where now =_=)! Now we can speed through certain parts of the Kings Road on our superior 2 lane road, confident in the knowledge that this is how it’s done overseas. This is how Uncle Jone in California drives to work. On a road with more then one lane. Beautiful.

Bear in mind though that this post doesn’t reflect the real thing when it comes to Fiji and its development pace. We’ve still got a long way to go if we want to look anything like Australia/New Zealand in terms of the advancement of society. Look at this as merely an observation more tongue in cheek then mirror reality, and make your own hypothesis from there.

Agree? Disagree? There’s the comment button

PS: I’ve posted a poll on the right, asking you people what you think was the most important development that brought us in sight of being nominated as a country that isn’t missing out much on some of the creature comforts easily afforded by our neighbours.

Fiji’s Fail Coke Can

Wilson — Thu, 22 May 2008 07:57:00 +0000

For a while now, Fiji and Coca Cola Amatil has served as the hub of distribution to distribute ~~society’s legal drug~~ coke both locally as well as to our friendly neighbours Tonga. Along side Macdonalds, Coca cola has successfully ingrained itself into the minds of everyone, and is as common in the cities as it is out in the bush. Since they’ve been around for quite some time, it was only natural for Coca-cola to take that as an initiative to dress up a coke can, slip on a few spazzy colours, drop a word that is so over-used locally that it’s almost losing its meaning, place a mysterious hand signal that is alien enough to make you wonder what exactly is up with the suits at that factory in Laucala Beach…and call it Fiji’s own.

While it has been around for awhile, I’ve decided to bring to attention those who aren’t aware of this new coke can, and point out just how annoyingly annoying the new addition to our diet is.

May I present, Fiji’s Fail Coke Can.

Initial impressions don’t yield that much. The coke can is your average 33oml can, with the traditional red and swirly hand-writing font we’ve all come to know (and even love) taking up one side. All in all, a pretty standard can to call our own.

That is, until you rotate the can around.

And you’re greeted by the sight of this new slogan “The Coke Side of Fiji”, as well as seeing the strangest thing that adorns the can. A Casper-ish hand pops out of the coke bottle artwork, holding a – wait – is that a Hang Loose sign?

Yes it is. And below the hand gesture is the infamous “Bula” word, with a tick next to it.

What. The. Hell. Is. Going on?

First off, the casper hang loose hand. If I recall, that sign is more commonly associated with surfers and their “chill out dude” attitude, as well as the use of the gesture. To be sure, I turned to good ol’ Wikipedia, and found out that I was right. Oh, but there’s more. Much more.

Aside from the fact that it is a hand gesture used by surfers, it is primarily a sign first and foremost used by Hawaiians, as well as associated not only with surfing, but other ‘beach’ sports such as “…kitesurfing, skateboarding, skimboarding, snowboarding and Skydiving.” Now for anyone who was born and bred in Fiji, the one thing they will agree with for sure is that Surfing isn’t a local thing. Granted, in Hawaii, it’s the national sport, but in Fiji, its either rugby or nothing at all. Surfing is usually taken up by either tourists, ex-pats, and a small number of dedicated fanatics. By placing a hand gesture that is (generally) familiar to only those within the “extreme beach sports” circles, Coca-cola is effectively saying that:

a) all Fijians (both indigenous and passport wise) surf, and therefore know and identify with said hand gesture.

b) because Fijians are mostly a bunch of ignorant fools who have not experienced the near orgasmic pleasure derived from riding mother nature’s curves, Coca-cola is taking on the responsibility of educating the masses on the joys of surfing, and subsequently, the hang loose sign.

Moving on, we’ve got the word “Bula” tacked on near the bottom of the can.

And where do we begin with this one…

“Bula” is Fiji’s greeting phrase, and is usually marketed as the word to be associated with Fiji overseas. So when FVB advertises to the masses in the 1st world countries, “Bula” is used to both say ‘hello’ and sell the travel package at the same time. Very efficient if I may say so myself. Its come to a stage though, that using the word “Bula” with a name or title, is starting to wear thin, wearing out its welcome mat. Now, when it comes to marketing, the use of the word automatically means that its:

a) Made in Fiji, for Fiji. Eg. “Bula-Loan!” Of course, the only thing made in this case is the huge debt if you’re not careful. Smiles not included.

b) A product that is marketed overseas, and needs that ‘Fiji’ touch to make it complete. “Fiji Prawns!” … “Bula!” See what I mean?

The same can be said for the coke can. I can almost imagine how the design came about…

[Graphic Designer for coke can]: Here’s the design for the new local coke ca -

[Stuffy Salesman from Coca-cola]: No no no that isn’t going to work. Throw away the pretty frills and what not. We need more oomph. Something that says – This is your cool can of coke, Fiji. Take it. Own it! Make it your own! Make sweet love to it! It is yours for the taking!

[Graphic Designer for coke can]: …

[Stuffy Salesman from Coca-cola]: Let’s put a chill out sign that those fancy surfers and all locals make when they’re doing their thing. Yeah. That ought to make it cool.

[Graphic Designer for coke can]: Uhh I don’t surf -

[Stuffy Salesman from Coca-cola]: I don’t care. It looks cool.

[Graphic Designer for coke can]: (shrugs)

[Stuffy Salesman from Coca-cola]: Oh. And put “Bula” at the bottom somewhere. We have to emphasize the whole “Fiji” thing to the locals.

[Graphic Designer for coke can]: Hmmm, thats abit silly don’t you think? I mean you don’t see “G’DAY!” on any of the australian coke cans do you?

[Stuffy Salesman from Coca-cola]: I don’t care. It looks cool.

[Graphic Designer for coke can]: (shrugs)

[Stuffy Salesman from Coca-cola]: Thats right. Now we’re talking. Oh, and put a tick besides Bula. Yep. Thats to show the locals that yes, this. Is. Correct.

[Graphic Designer for coke can]: What is correct?

[Stuffy Salesman from Coca-cola]: I don’t know…but it looks cool.

[Graphic Designer for coke can]: (sigh)

I give up.

PS: According to Wikipedia, in India and Venezuela, the shaka (hang loose) sign is used colloquially as a reference to sexual intercourse, and the hand may be moved in the direction of the pinky finger, as to mimic penetration.