Archive for category weather

5 Topics of conversation your taxi driver is most likely to have with you

Posted by Wilson in taxi, weather on April 23, 2009


You’ve caught a ride with them more times then your carpool. You’ve sat in their ride, and paid for their transportation service. Most of the drives are silent and uneventful, with you gazing into the distance while the scenery scrolls on by. Cursory dialogue may include the destination, handing of the fee, and the obligatory thanks (if you’re a really nice person). And then its out the door and into obscurity, the chances of meeting up again pretty low.
Taxis are everywhere, and serve as an important transportation link in our daily lives. If you’ve traveled in a taxi once, you’ve traveled in them all. However, the car doesn’t make the ride. Well. Unless you’re taking the ‘free taxi’ a.k.a. the police van. Rather, it’s the taxi driver who decides whether or not your ride, be it short or road trip, is a memoriable one, via his choice of conversation (should he decide to have one) and topic of discussion.
Now a taxi driver is like a (DAMNITFLYINGCOCKROACHJUMPEDONMYDAMNKEYBOARRRD) barman. They meet all kinds of people. Unlike a barman, a taxi driver doesn’t listen to you, or your problems. Heck, he’s got plenty of his own to worry about, without your tear jerker of a tail about Fiji’s devaluation dollar to think of. Taxi drivers have opinions, stories and if you listen long enough (or if you’re travelling half way around Viti Levu), a moral.
While all taxi drivers are unique in their own right, there are a few common themes of discussion that you’ll notice crop up now and then. Here are the top 5 topics of conversation most likely to come your way in your 5 minute drive:

5) The New Coins

Image source: strangepants.com
This topic will go out of fashion eventually (if you’re still reading this 10 years later and your taxi driver is talking about coins, you’ve won the game), but for now, 9 times out of 10, your driver will mention how funny/wierd/slack/hopeless/set the new coins are. “You have to be careful now aye,” he’ll remark, holding a pile of coins to the light, “you really have to check saraga if the thing 20 cent or 50 cent. They all the same eh?!” At times, they’ll curse at how they’re not used to this whole coin change thing, and other times they’ll marvel at the ingenuity and wonder, “why they never make this before?”.
4) That prostitute

Image source: blogs.pitch.com
Wierd, but given the chance, most taxi drivers will describe having a run in or two with the ladies of the night. And there’s always a story waiting there. “You see that one there?” They’ll point at some obscure lady standing on a street corner in town. “Yeah, that one one pros.” A cheeky hoot of the horn and a shout “Vica?!” (How much?) when you zoom past, with a middle finger is raised towards the laughing driver. “Wooo boy I tell you, that one make plenty money,” a wink, “last week, I been take her and one kaivalagi (caucasian) from Traps to Motel 6. Ha! Tamani action happening there!” a thump on the horn, a grin, and you can probably fill in the gaps. Or, if you’re game enough, ask for details.
3) Job

Image source: www.nuffy.net
Driving a taxi is hard work. Sure, the driver sits in a car all day, ferrying people from A to B. But aside from all that sitting (you try doing that without getting a break and see how your behind likes it), there’s the daily (or weekly) vehicle rent that the boss demands from the driver. Good earnings mean that the boss can be paid and there’s enough for living expenses after. If not, then its back on the road again. “Boy, sometimes business slow, and I don’t have enough to pay the boss for the day. So I have to keep driving, driving, driving till I can get the money to pay the falla,” he’ll sigh, “by that time, I’ll be tired, so I go home. Tomorrow, I hope plenty people catch taxi so I can get better money.” Besides the money, there’s also the safety concerns to be dealt with. Robberies, runaway customers, and drunktards not paying their bill all make driving a taxi anything but a walk in the park. Or drive. One driver commented, “You see this?” He pulled out a screw driver from the side of the car door, “if someone want to grab my neck, I take this and go -” he makes a stabbing motion with the screw driver. “That’s for my own safety boy. Danger out there you know? Have to protect yourself.”
2) LTA

Image source: www.fiji.gov.fj
The very bane of every taxi driver, the Land Transport Authority gets nothing but discontent and all round unhappiness if given the chance to comment on. I have never met a taxi driver who didn’t have something nice to say about them. Of course, that may be just me, but still, that’s got to amount to something. Ranging from comments about money and all its variations of evil, to curses best left unblogged, when it comes to having an opinion about LTA, most taxi drivers have but one. They hates it like Gollum on a ring losing day.
1) Weather
Image source: www.edu.dudley.gov.uk

The classic conversation starter, the topic opener in most generic rides, and well known ice breaker. Usually the driver will wait until you’ve settled in on the ride, and casually toss a remark, “slack weather eh?” To which you have a choice, to either take the bait and open up conversation with him, or grunt and be the anti-social person that you are. “This the hurricane season now,” a wise, almost sage-like nod, “that’s why the weather thing playing up all this time. Rain, sun, rain, sun, sun, rain, thing up and down.” Mostly topics on the weather stay generic and vague, but now and then you get the real weatherman deal. “I tell you boy, this weather, thing because of the global warning.” He’ll wiggle his finger, expertly changing gears in the middle of making his most important point of the day, “It’s all this fires and pollution. Eh? Eh? You see these gang cutting the trees down? That. Affects. Us. All saraga.”
Have you had a conversation with a taxi driver that was worth noting?

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There’s a sinking feeling abound…

Posted by Wilson in Tourists, environmentalists, nadi, water, weather on November 23, 2008

Image source: www.the217.com
It is the year 2027 and Nadi has become an underwater ghost town. The former ‘jet set’ town of bustling tourists, taxis without taxi meters, and persistent salespeople now belongs to the fishes and coral of the sea.
At least thats what is predicted by Professor Patrick Nunn, who’s part of the Intergovernmental Panel on Climate Change (IPCC), and apparently it’s quite serious. Since Nadi is built on a delta, and the forests upstream have been deforested, water is coming down alot more often and is bringing with it silt and soil, resulting in an increase in drainage blockage and thus flooding. More soil and silt means more weight, which means Nadi’s going down, ‘abondon ship’ style.
All’s doom that ends in doom. And the Nadi Town Council agrees. Infact, they’re so shook up by the statement of Professor Patrick Nunn, that they’ve gone all religious in the hope that the Almighty One will intervine intervene and save the town from its wicked ways from its own weight. Of course, it’s either divine intervention or GTFO/relocate, the later option being less popular with the Council, since nobody likes shifting house, forget a whole town.
20 years is a long time to wait to see whether all this is going to happen (though there’s nothing in the way of saying that it won’t), and a lot of things could occur between now and then. The Nadi Town Council could order a relocate for the whole town. Or they could look into trying to save the town by looking into investing into proper drainage systems, though with the current worldwide economic slowdown, that could remain a dream and nothing more. Or they could just wait and see if what the overseas scientists predicted would come to pass. After all, one statement at a conference is one thing, official orders from the government to relocate after a million dollars of research from top scientific communities in the Netherlands (I’ve always had the notion that the most brilliant scientists came from Europe) finds that the town is indeed sinking, is another.
What will this mean for Nadi and the rest of Fiji?
Obviously, Nadi is going to lose its status as the coolest town in Fiji. I mean, let’s be honest here. When you think Nadi, you think Airport, hot tourists, and 24 hour beach parties. With that gone, Nadi’s going to end up as the town without its mojo. After all, Labasa’s the edge of civilization, Sigatoka’s got their sand dunes (which is a UNESCO World Heritage Site, bonus!), Lautoka’s got their sugar sweet status, and Suva is…well…only like the capital city of Fiji and all that.
This won’t bode well with our fellow Nadi…arians. Here’s hoping that either science will get it wrong, or divine intervention will play its part in the years to come. That or in 20 years time, there’ll be a new town in Fiji called “New Nadi”.
You heard it here first folks ;)

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Sit at home and watch shit fly. Again.

Posted by Wilson in hurricane, weather on January 30, 2008

Looks familiar?

Yes ladies and gentlemen, it’s that time of the year again where Fiji experiences the joys of mother nature and what she has to offer, namely in the form of a Cyclone called Daman Gene. Thats right, Fiji will be adding yet another historic event to its logbook.

A cursory glance at the above picture will show how Cyclone Daman Gene, was formed right smack bang in the centre of Fiji. Somehow, Daman Gene decided, “You know what? It would be fun to say form right in the middle of Fiji so that EVERYONE can feel the love!” Next thing you know, Fiji gets a hurricane, and a weird sounding one at that.

The only good thing this cyclone ever got right was its timing, choosing to visit just on the start of Monday afternoon, spelling ‘day-off’ for everyone, me included.

On a less then happy note, 4 people were killed in the wake of the cyclone. The most unfortunate death being the form 3 student who went swimming at the vatuwaqa passage on Tuesday, a day after the cyclone was supposed to have passed. However, the winds were still very strong, and the girl was swept away by strong currents.

Lesson of the day?

Cyclone + Sea Current = NO SWIMMING. PERIOD.

Note: If the above post looks somewhat familiar, thats because I’ve copy pasted from a previous article “Sit at home and watch shit fly”. Lazy? Not really. Template? Maybe. I did this to illustrate how often Fiji gets cyclones (we’ve mastered Disaster Management to a fine art I tell you) and perhaps who knows? This could be the new standard for reporting on cyclones and hurricanes happening here in Fiji! :D

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Sit at home and watch shit fly.

Posted by Wilson in Tourists, hurricane, weather on December 6, 2007


Yes ladies and gentlemen, it’s that time of the year again where Fiji experiences the joys of mother nature and what she has to offer, namely in the form of a Hurricane called Daman. Thats right, if the geniuses at Fiji Meterological Services get this one right, by tomorrow night, Fiji will be adding yet another historic event to its logbook.

A cursory glance at the above picture will show how Hurricane Daman, when formed, was travelling away from Fiji. Somehow, along that trip in the opposite direction, Daman decided, “You know what? It would be fun to say hello to Fiji on behalf of dear ol’ mummy. After all, they do have interesting beer. Or so I’ve heard…” Next thing you know, Fiji gets a hurricane, and a weird sounding one at that.

They’re moving the tourists from the smaller islands back to Nadi, which sounds like a safe plan, though I’m wondering about the poor guys left behind on the island.

And this hurricane can’t even get its timing right, choosing to visit just on the eve of Friday night for crying out aloud. There goes most people’s night out. Mine included.

On a more interesting by-note, the local Meteorological Services name their hurricanes in alphabetical order. Their last hurricane was called Cliff, with the current one Daman, and they’ve already planned ahead with the next hurricane christened Elisha.

Its a rather comforting feeling knowing that the National Meteorological Services has the country’s best interest at heart by naming hurricanes before they arrive. Be prepared, as they say.

Because Hurricanes often have a soft spot for Fiji, it’s often hard to imagine life without one. A friend of mine was chatting me from Singapore, and he found hurricanes intriguing.

Friend: Oh dear. You’re getting a hurricane?

Me: Bah. No biggie. We get them all the time. (Which isn’t far from the truth…if the truth were to be stretched abit…)

Friend: jeez.

Me: Don’t you guys get hurricanes?

Friend: Hehe, just monsoon. Lots of rain. Like you said, no biggie.

Me: Ahh glad to hear that.

Friend: From the sound of things, you seem to be on the worser side of things.

(pause)

Friend: So…what exactly do you do during a hurricane?

Me: Hmmm. Sit at home and watch shit fly.

Friend: Ahh.

What else do you do during a hurricane?

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