Archive for category tipsntricks

Get Your Fix. Now.

Posted by Wilson in lifestyle, suva, tipsntricks on November 7, 2008

Image source: www.flickr.com
Long hours and caffine go hand in hand with anyone working long, urban hours into the wee morning. Be it making a seemingly unending quest to balance the books, prepare your papers for the upcoming case, or just maybe trying to down that last boss in the dungeon so that you all can call it quits, most people with a desk job have experienced such a grueling regime. Generally, such time consuming endeavours require a sharp mind, keen eyes and a steady hand, but with the hours wearing on, staying on your toes, let alone awake, becomes somewhat of a chore.
Desparate measures to stay awake include blasting music, slapping your own face, printing a large picture of goatse and sticking it beside your screen, and the time honoured tradition of injecting stimulants into your blood stream to keep your body alert and alive or drinking caffeine.
Strange Pants, a dedicated coder, knows only too well the rigours of caffeine drinking in all its delirious forms and flavours. And in a post that shows off his extensive knowledge of all things skyhigh, he has not only laid out what ingredients make for a good energy drink, but also listed all the best energy drinks that are available in Suva (sorry all non-suvarians – check your instores for supplies if available). From the infamous fly-through-the-windscreen “V” to the popular and more classier “Espresso” (with whipped cream mind you).
A recommended read for all those who burn the midnight oil. And the occassional forum post.

, ,

2 Comments

5 Ways to Celebrate Diwali

Posted by Wilson in diwali, festival, tipsntricks on October 23, 2008


Image source: www.allposters.com
Tomorrow Fiji is going to celebrate its Indian community’s national holiday of Deepawali.
A blur of blinking lights, blazing fireworks and scrumptious sweets, Diwali holds a special place in many a person’s heart. The festival is always preceeded by the occasional fireworks that echo during the day/night, and will eventually intensify as the special day gets closer. Various businesses will mark the occassion with a declaration of “Best Dressed Indian gets $50″, and cards are sent out to their customers passing on the usual well wishes as well as, coincidently, a special deal that’ll only be on till Diwali ends (So Hurry!). Blinking lights that were originally for christmas trees will be carefully strung up and around celebrating houses, each display an attempt to either outshow their neighbours, or to outdo the previous years set-up. Temples will note an increase in activity, both inside and out, with devotees visiting and children letting off fireworks outside the yard with their parents looking on in amusement.
To many, Diwali is all this and more (grog and booze sessions included), and with so many things to look forward to and only one day to chase it up, there’s a subliminal danger of missing out on the fun things that make Diwali what it is. However, fear not, as this blog will be your guide on some of the more interesting things you could do come Diwali night.
Of course, this ‘5 Ways‘ guide is for those who arn’t hindus and wouldn’t otherwise have their own list of things to do. Rather, this is aimed at those that on Diwali, would be sitting at home, twiddling their thumbs, and watching their dvd collection of Gulong while the rest of Fiji is out and about.
1) When in Rome…


What could be a better way to start off the Diwali then by dressing the part? Nothing gets you in the mood quicker then by doning the traditional garments from India. For men, there’s always the classic, stylish yet not too overbearing Jodhpuri suit, which looks great both for formal and work occassions, as well as, if chosen correctly, boosting your chances of winning the office dress up day competition ;) Women, as always, will always choose the ever enduring, gracefully flowing Indian sari, which is present in many forms and colours, and never fails to dazzle the onlookers time and time again.
Many clothes stores will be stocking Indian suits and dresses, and now would be the right time to get them, although as of late, compared to the previous years, shoppers have been somewhat slow to start the shopping rush. If shopping for Indian attire confounds you, don’t be afraid to take your Indian buddies with you, and let them take charge as to where to shop since you could always use a few pointers on the best places to go.
2) Dude! Sweet!
No, not that sweet, but rather the kind that either gets distributed to your house the morning after Diwali, or you end up gorging yourself on during said Diwali. It is during this time of the year where every self-respecting hindu will make it his/her job to cook up an unholy amount of delicious indian sweets, so as to satisfy the ravinous horde of friends, family and at times, uninvited guests who present themselves at the front door, baying for the fresh indian sweet delicacies that can sate their hunger.
It is during this time where you should by all means, take advantage of the vast range of sweets that will be made, and take it upon yourself to sample each and every piece, from the sugar coated, healthy-teeth-check, bone crunching Lakari to the circular, mouth-melting-moment, sometimes red sometimes orange never disappointing Jalebi.
If there was ever a time in Fiji for sweetophiliacs to prosper, this would be it.
3) Drive-by-Light-Setup-Admiring
Image source: www.indermezzo.com
Diwali is the Festival of light, and that fact is never more clearly illuminated (hooray for puns!) then through the dazzling display of flickering lights that are strung up on houses across the nation. A general sign that that particular household is celebrating the festival the traditional way, the various forms of light displays are always a sight to behold. From the old school candles and coloured boxes that lay scattered across the lawn to the megawatt, FEA-worrying, I’m-made-of-money, near Las Vegas show of might and power, with rows of rows of flashing light ropes that cover the house and on occassion, show laywaid planes the way home.
The best way to fully appreciate the show of lights is to grab a car and go for a drive. You’d be surprised at the vast arrangement details that each home will present, with some of the more creative ones being a pleasant surprise. The best places to visit are the streets away from the main roads, the suburbs as well as the upper class districts. If wheeled transport isn’t available, then a simple walk about with your friends is the next best thing, with the added advantage of lighting crackers along the way to lighten up the mood for the night.

4) Fire in the Hole!


The main weakness of any kid or kid at heart, this is the primary source of enjoyment for many a child, me included. For as long as anyone can remember, fireworks and Diwali go hand in glorious multi-coloured, sparkly hand. Noisy, smokey, potentially dangerous, and at times costing a handy sum, they’re nonetheless the mainstay of any self respecting kid’s arsenal for Diwali night. While they may have a religious connection with the actual festival itself, the act of using fireworks has, over the years, evolved into something more akin to urban warefare, with gangs of children, and at times, consenting adults (ahem…me included) engaging in bouts of firefights. It is perhaps due to these activities that the current government has seen to it that 90% of fireworks be banned from retail outlets, leaving behind mostly sparklers and harmless light flares.
Of course, while it will be unprofessional, nay, illegal of me to recommend you aqcuire said banned crackers via unsavoury means, that doesn’t mean you stay off fireworks totally. There’s always the ones that are legal, and readily available to the public. Light flares, sparklers…yeah it’s pretty obvious either its been awhile since I’ve last visited a store during Diwali saleweek, or there really is a lack of proper crackers on sale.
In hindsight, Diwali isn’t about obtaining the biggest, baddest, loudest, most god-awefully named firecracker you can get so that you can aim at your neighbour’s house, grinning like a madman. Rather, look at it as an opportunity to chillout with your good friends, add a little colour to the night sky, and enjoy the mesmerizing effect that sparklers have both on the kids, as well as kid inside of you ;)
5) Invited Guests


Image source:photobucket.com
Wow. Diwali is looking to be quite the busy night. Sweets, dress up parties, sight seeing, fireworks, it all seems a tad bit overwhelming. What would you start off with first? Here’s a handy tip. Accept the invitation from your diwali celebrating indian friend to pay a visit to his/her place come Tuesday night, and then, in a flash of brilliance, achive all above mentioned points! Dress up in the brand spanking new Jodhpuri suit that you bought last week to impress the parents, snatch a ride to the house and admire the lights along the way, and after entering the premises and wishing everyone a happy diwali, gorge yourself on the snacks presented on the table. Then its to the front porch, where eager kids and unlit crackers await.
So there you have it. While this is by no means a comprehensive “5 definitive ways’ list, I do hope that whatever you may pick up from this post would be of some use to you on Diwali night. And remember, Diwali is all about celebrating together with friends and family, snacks and crackers taking an important second. Or a third, depending on whether the kid in you prefers gunpowder explosions to tastebud ones.
Your choice :)

, ,

4 Comments

Dealing with Countries 1st Line of Defense a.k.a. Embassies

Posted by Wilson in Education, Tourists, annoying, tipsntricks, travel on July 8, 2008

Who wants to go overseas when you have everything you could ever need right here? Who needs fine wine when we can make the most serious head tripping home brew that’ll guarantee your not safety? Who wants to travel in limousine style when we’ve got private cars that’ll spring up to serve your every need whenever a bus strike happens?

However, in the far-fetched scenario that you do indeed need to leave said paradise shores, then getting your passport and countless papers are in order. And the place to go should you want access to your destination country are the Embassies.

Long heralded by 1st world countries as the best deterrent to mass migration, embassies are, as the title says, the first line of defense against anyone and everyone interested in crossing their hallowed entry points. Government bureaucracy, inept staffing, long queues and snobby nosed secretaries all conspired to make the stamp on your passport worth its weight in blood. Now, thanks in part to 9/11, border control has taken on a whole new meaning.

Of course, when all else fails, there’s always the internet yes?

Mayvelous May has taken the arduous, near herculean task of reviewing a few of the major embassies here in Suva, including the British, American, Australian and even French embassies.

At the beginning of each embassy review she gives the name of the embassy, as well as a summary of what to expect once you step in through the doors (French Embassy – Very quiet). A few paragraphs of policies, procedures and at times, frustration should give you a fair idea of how everything goes down in said embassy.

At the end of the embassy review, she’s placed the contact details, as well as how easy it is to get in contact with them, a very handy feature indeed (Phone Support: The number mentioned on the website is useless, once called, tells you to call another number. Extremely RUDE and snappy response).

After reading the whole article, the first prize to the most difficult, hard to get to, hard to go through embassy comes as no surprise whatsoever. Of course, you may have had a different experience with said reviewed embassies. Who knows. So, if you’d like a head start through enemy terrain, then look no further then May’s “Embassies: Knowing how anal your local one is”.

Ok. That was a bad title. So sue me.

PS: May, use review stars! Everyone loves review stars :D

, , , ,

2 Comments

This Weekend is Forceline Earth Hour/Weekend – Again – What are you going to do?

Posted by Wilson in tipsntricks on April 14, 2008

So last weekend’s supposedly big hype power shut down didn’t happen due to very disagreeable weather. Understandably, I was elated, only to find out that we were merely postponing the inevitable, with the scheduled shutdown to now happen this upcoming weekend Saturday 19th April till Sunday 20th April. Great.

After having a little emo time to myself (I found a new corner!), I browsed the list I wrote last week to see if there was anything I wanted to get up to, and realized I had missed the most obvious choice when it comes to figuring out what to do during black out weekend.

1) Run away to the West. Duh.

I can’t believe I didn’t see this when I was first writing my ‘idle hands idle weekend’ post. For us suva people, the west holds everything ‘escape for the weekend’ dear to our hearts. Town not populated with faces we’ve seen everyday? Check. Abundance of beaches to flip out on? Check. Relatives you haven’t seen in awhile? Check. Party atmosphere with fresh meat a.k.a. tourists waiting for the kill? Check. Check. And Check. Who cares about Earth Hour when you’ve got 3 boxes of booze to go through? Who wants to sit at home with no power and twiddle their thumbs when they could be swimming with the fishes? (happy and alive thank you very much, and not the infamous italian reference)

Yes, as I said before, I can’t believe I missed that. So sue me.

No Comments

This weekend is Force line Earth Hour/Weekend – What are you going to do?

Posted by Wilson in tipsntricks on April 11, 2008

This weekend is going to be one which is going to be shared pretty much by everyone in the central division of Fiji, Rotuma not withstanding. FEA, in their wisdom and all round caring nature, has decided to celebrate Earth Hour perform important maintenance on their power grid, and will shut down the entire Central division grid of Viti Levu from mid-day Saturday 12th April to 8:00pm Sunday 13th.

Thats a pretty long time in any official FEA power shutdown, since the only other time such a power cut would happen is either during peak hurricane hours or a coup.

So, what can one do during those dark hours to keep one’s self occupied? Worry nai as the locals would have you say, since this blog has undertaken the arduous task of researching worthwhile tasks to keep those idle hands…busy.

1)Cut power cables and sell them on the black market.

As John Michaels would have you believe, it is quite a profitable business cutting up power cables and selling it to the local scrapyard. Sure there’s a prison sentence waiting for you if you’re dumb enough to get caught, but hey, at least you’ll have some money to pay for the ensuring fines yes? And don’t worry. No electricity, no danger. Though plastic flip flops might do the job of protecting your life ;)

2) Go and protest the Chinese govt outside their embassy in Nasese.

The Fiji Times has reported today the arrest of seventeen people who were silently protesting China’s impressive human rights record with the upcoming Beijing 2008 Olympic games. Apparently protesting outside anything Chinese is all the rage so to ensure that we’re not left fashionably behind, grab your own cardboard slogan (don’t forget the bandanna) sign and make your way to the Chinese Embassy. After all, protesting won’t cost you an electric cent, and you’ll be duly noted in the books of all things good and NGO-ish.

3) Store water. Dig a swimming pool in your backyard.

Sure you could invest in a boring old Water Tank. But nothing says I’m a rich boci who can afford to wipe my grog bowl with the new hundred dollar bills like your own backyard swimming pool, complete with new chlorine treatment plant, and added sugar flavours such as Strawberry, Chocolate, and the newest addition, Grog.

5) Go and protest Fiji Rugby’s lame performance in sevens rugby outside the FRU office.

Fiji has been on the ‘suck’ end of the sevens game recently, with a string of losses, no longer the powerhouse that we once were. If you can’t be bothered with all things chinese and human rights, and consider the oval ball life and death, then grab your own cardboard slogan (don’t forget the bandanna) sign and make your way to the Fiji Rugby Union Headquarters. After all, its not such a big deal if we lose the World Cup Sevens next year right? Thought so.

6) Solve the country’s economic downfall.

Fancy yourself a whiz kid at maths, money and all things honey? Then check out the signs. Fiji’s economy isn’t doing so well for itself. We need someone who can help the country back onto it’s money-making feet, bring back those smiley happy tourists, and in general, make Fiji what it used to be back in the good ol’ days of 1970 and such (I heard it was rocking back then). Be sure to post your economic proposals here first. For traffic boost and what not.

7) Watch the Ballu Khan sex video. In like, candle light.

Or not. Your choice.

What do you plan to do during power down weekend?

9 Comments

Its after 1am. Do you know where your taxi is?

Posted by Wilson in festival, taxi, tipsntricks on December 26, 2007

image source: USP website

Its the festive season, and late night clubbing is in full swing. After an evening full of music, dance and saliva exchanging, closing time brings with it a unique challenge that everyone who doesn’t have pre-arranged transport home face.

Catching your very own taxi.

Unlike overseas, where cars are about as affordable as a flat screen television, transport is something of a luxury that the lucky few have access to, the rest of us reduced to mere zombies straggling the side of the road in an attempt to convince any taxi driver that we are the ones worth paying for their now much needed service.

There are a few times in a day when taxi drivers, who number in the hundreds making competition something of a life or death situation, can afford to be picky with who they take on as passengers. During peak shopping hours (the shopper with the most plastic bags is more likely to be staying the furtherest away from town), a little after 5pm (all white collar workers are duly marked and picked), and of course, nightclub closing time.

As with the previously mentioned peak times, taxi drivers take their own sweet time, picking out potentially paying passengers who don’t look like they’ll :

a) Vomit onto the driver’s car floor/gear/brand new speakers.

b) rob you of your hard earned cash, and perhaps stick a screw driver into your side while they’re at it.

c) ask to be taken to their destination, and promptly pass out in the back seat. A search of said passenger’s pockets reveal nothing but billiard tickets and lint.

d) go through a combination of (a) (b) and (c). Nasty.

After reading the above points, it’s painfully obvious what to do to ensure that your chances of stopping a taxi are high. Of course, it doesn’t stop there. There’s quite a few more points to pay attention to. It’s almost an art really.

1) Get out of the Clubs early.

I know, leaving early when the whole scene has hit its peak is like, well, I’ll leave the comparison to you. But exiting before everyone else does have its advantages. Key 3 words of this point? BEFORE EVERYONE ELSE. Its as simple as that. Beat the competition by being first out of the clubs, at anytime before 1am, therefore making it easier for the taxi drivers to pick you and you alone. Let the rest of them fight it over after closing time :)

2) Try not to look like a Drunk Fuck.

I sa drunk saraga!!!!!!11!1!

Hmmm, guess you didn’t take the first point to heart. Oh well, not to worry, you still have a fair chance of catching a taxi – if you sober up abit first. No taxi driver in their right mind is going to stop for someone who’s retching their guts out onto the pavement, though they do make exceptions if said vomitter was a hot chick. However, do note that a taxi driver’s self preservation comes to heart when considering a passenger, and if you’re found to be a total drunk fuck, then consider yourself demoted to ‘yet another transportless douche bag.’

3) Have a girl with you. They help :)

These people have “guaranteed taxi passengers” written all over them.


Generally, stopping taxis involve a number of people, namely you and your friends. You can increase your chances of stopping a taxi if you have a member of the fairer sex by your side (or if you are a girl, then you don’t need to be reading this point since you’ve already got your ride home), since taxi drivers see female companions as a sign that these guys most probably won’t be interested in trouble. Guy(s) + Girl = Safe Passengers! Works like a charm.

4) Move away from the Competition.

You don’t want to be here after the show finishes.


It’s simple really. When you exit the clubs, try moving to a spot that isn’t choked up with other late night patrons. The less people around you, the easier it is to be singled out. Moving towards the source of traffic and away from everyone else is always your best bet for catching a taxi.

Bear in mind that the above pointers are not absolute guarantees that you will have taxis clambering over each other to get to you (unless you’re Paris Hilton), but heeding their wise advice should make it easier on you to obtain a paid ride home.

Of course, there will always be the X-Factor, where, even though you’re as drunk as hell, can’t recall your name, and have little green fairies showing you the way home, miracle of all miracles, some taxi driver will stop his cab and kindly open the door for you. These events do happen, though rarely, and it is best to take advantage of the moment, albit carefully.

Above all, remember to enjoy yourself this upcoming new year and be safe. We need our readers in one piece for the next year. For the Ego boost and all.

5 Comments