Archive for category television

Life in Fiji is Sweet

Posted by Wilson in funny, television, video on October 14, 2008

So says Garageland, a New Zealand indie rock band with a penence for little toy monkeys (Mr Splinky!), influencial bands such as the Pixes, The Clean and The Velvet Underground, and happy, bright tunes that make you want to snap your fingers and go out and smile the world up.

And who would say otherwise? In their music video Life is So Sweet, our protagonist, Mr Jean Paul Paul Jean Jean Paul (yes, this isn’t a typo/tired fingers post at 3am in the morning mistake) dons the spy shades and shadows a mysterious man around the main section of Sigatoka Town (correct me if I’m wrong, could be Nadi…any help from the West? Just where is he shadowing?), and the Outrigger Reef Fiji Hotel. In fact, half of the music video seems like a giant ad promoting Outrigger Reef Fiji, showing off its swimming pool, lovely yard and even the awesome dance club complete with rotating lights and black walls.
Inbetween his ‘Chuck’ tailing moments, Mr Jean Paul happily skips on a sunny beach with histrusty radio on his shoulder, admires the local women (see 1:52) and even manages to do a ninja flip/tumble in the greenery. 
I have to admit, he did have a lot of fun. Almost makes me want to join a indie band so that I could make crazy ninja flips and do bad 80s dance styles in a music video.
Almost.

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6 Signs Fiji is nearing ‘Civilization’ Quality

Posted by Wilson in ISP, Tourists, fiji, history, internet, lifestyle, television on September 9, 2008



Having come in contact with several tourists over the past few weeks and hearing their impressions of Fiji, it dawned upon me how far we’ve progressed from its days of head hunting, neighbour eating, and selective afro growing. A simple stroll through town will reveal important looking businessmen sealing important deals on their important cell phones, while children hum along to the latest hip hop/pop/reggae tunes with the help of their iPods. Giggling teenage girls compare their latest trendy buys from fashion stores around the corner, and in the midst of this all, various street modded cars zoom around, blaring ‘Gasolina’ through their daddy bought speakers.


Sure we see these things everyday, but to the first time tourist, first impressions last. Out of curiosity, I decided to take a look around and tried to see things from their point of view. When a tourist first sets foot on our land, he/she would run through a mental checklist that may include whether or not the locals have electricity, (running off assumption here folks, feel free to think otherwise) running water or anything that represents said ‘civilization’.
Of course, as all locals know, Fiji passed that test a long time ago, and then some. While I’d like to think that we’ve come a long way, lets take a look at exactly how much has progressed since good ol’ Bligh set sea-weary eyes upon our infamous shores.
1) We got McDonalds

Nothing says global commercialization like Mcdonalds. When you can open up a small version of 1st world ideals in the remotest parts of the world, Fiji doesn’t seem that far off from everyone else. Considering the fact that the first branch was opened in Nadi, the gateway to Fiji (thanks in no small part to their airport), the golden arches are a welcome sight to all incoming tourists familiar with fast food and the slightly creepy mascot. When the second branch opened in Suva, we knew they were here to stay.

2) We got Internet


The world became that much smaller when the internet was brought to Fiji. From that fateful day when Telecom introduced the concept of shared communication, we were never the same. Imagine – now we could keep in touch with the rest of the cool people from around the world via MSN! Now we could read the latest news of what was going on continents away and not have to wait for the 6pm local news! Email made itself at home with both business houses and private homes alike, spam and all. Porn was no longer restricted to the tattered, well thumbed magazines that were a few years old, but was readily available in all its full, DVD quality glory! Of course, the hourly disconnects were a pain, as were the high phone bills due to the numerous reconnection attempts the computer modem made to the overloaded telecom server, but it was a small price to pay for downloaded seasons of The Simpsons and Takashi’s Castle.

3) We got MTV



Albit on a pay channel, but still! To prove that Fiji is up-to-date with all that is ‘hip’ and ‘cool’ (makes alien ears sign with fingers), we brought MTV to our shores, and the corruption of the future generation began anew. To be honest, it was (correct me if I’m wrong) the Coca-cola Power Jammer that started it all, but the influence of MTV cannot be denied. Even today, we can see the influence of such a life style, with krump and local hip hop in full bloom. Where will this all go from here? Who knows?

4) We get Movies before Australia and New Zealand (sometimes)

For serious? Well…to the best of my knowledge, yes. We, the little country in the middle of the pacific, constantly pushed around by the upper powers of the 1st world country watch dogs (or so the left wing conspiracists would like to believe), by some strange powers that be, have Hollywood movies that open first at our beloved Damodar Village cinemas first, before they even see the light of the projector in Australia and New Zealand. I may have to check now to see if that still happens, but when I was growing up, it was common knowledge to people who had just arrived from Australia or New Zealand that movies that had already run their screening course in Fiji were just beginning to open there. This, I believe, is something worth investigating :)

5) We got more than one television channel

The ultimate pointer when deciding whether Fiji is still in the dark ages or has settled amongst the stars. One locally produced television channel in a country is mandatory, when the infrastructure has been set up by the local government and set in motion. We were there once. Fiji One Television dominated the … television landscape for so long, it seemed almost blasphamous to even think of having an additional station take up space on our local tv screens. Who out there was brave enough to take on the titan that was Fiji TV? Not only did they bring us ER, Seasame Street, and X-Files, but for a time (all too brief in my opinion) they provided BBC free to air during off peak hours. That was awesome. However, after showing Hercules reruns again and again, another channel didn’t look so bad, and with the government breaking open the tv market, it was only a matter of time before Mai TV stepped in to provide an alternative. And we were happy.
6) We got four two lane roads (corrected because I’m a noob)



This particular point is something close to my dear heart. In the dark ages of single lane roads between Suva and Nausori, traffic jams were such a common occurance that I began to believe that all of civilization ran on roads such as ours. Seeing multi-lane roads in the US through movies was an eye opener to what we were missing out here. Then, lo and behold, the government (then :P ) stepped in and began the arduous task of building a highway that had – what? 2 lanes? No. Way. But it happened! Now queues are a thing of the past (in the old queue places, but with poor planning, bottling up of traffic happens else where now =_=)! Now we can speed through certain parts of the Kings Road on our superior 2 lane road, confident in the knowledge that this is how it’s done overseas. This is how Uncle Jone in California drives to work. On a road with more then one lane. Beautiful.
Bear in mind though that this post doesn’t reflect the real thing when it comes to Fiji and its development pace. We’ve still got a long way to go if we want to look anything like Australia/New Zealand in terms of the advancement of society. Look at this as merely an observation more tongue in cheek then mirror reality, and make your own hypothesis from there.
Agree? Disagree? There’s the comment button ;)
PS: I’ve posted a poll on the right, asking you people what you think was the most important development that brought us in sight of being nominated as a country that isn’t missing out much on some of the creature comforts easily afforded by our neighbours.

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The Wrong Thang

Posted by Wilson in annoying, music, television on October 20, 2007


From the Fiji TV website:

“The Groove Thang is Fiji’s only locally produced music television show. It has maintained its position as one of Fiji One’s top 10 programs ratings throughout the years, making it one of Fiji TV’s most popular locally produced shows.

The Groove Thang gives Fiji a window into music videos from around the world as well as a chance to see what’s happening on the local and island music scene.

Apart from fantastic music, the show also offers a wide range of competition and prizes. The Groove Thang aims to promote local events that involve issues that relate to young people. The Groove Thang airs Saturday nights at 6pm on Fiji One.”

To be honest, I’m not much of a fan for the Groove Thang. Where to begin? Apart from the hideous name which implies the show is all hip hop, the ‘weather man’ green screen backgrounds irk me to no end. Every good music show must have a set or studio. It just feels proper.

But today’s episode set a new low for the show. They played Linkin Park’s single from the Reanimation album titled “Papercut”.

Except it wasn’t Papercut they showed, but rather the robot massacre/final fantasy inspired Points of Authority. But that didn’t stop the band name and song title being displayed as “Linkin Park – Papercut”.

When the clip started with the wrong titles, I was shocked. Every self respecting music fan would have picked that mistake straight away, nevermind the producers themselves. Of course, I assured myself, perhaps at the end title they’ll correct it.

No luck at the end titles which displayed the same thing. Linkin Park – Papercut.

Now I was really pissed. How could they have made a monumental mistake like that? Ah but the best was yet to come.

The show host, with smiles and confidence galore, had this to say about the song, “One of my personal favourites, that was Linkin Park with Papercut.”

Moral of the story?

1) The host really was a fan of Linkin Park.

2) The Groove Thang gives Fiji a window to music videos of the world, except the world is a green screen projection.

3) This is why I heart The Groove Thang.

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Rant-ouville: TV Ads that want you to feel…

Posted by Wilson in rant, television on September 20, 2007


All blogs have their fair share of rants, and its only normal that a rant is procured within these hallowed grounds that is Paradise Not Found. Sure we’ve complained on everything from the utter madness of losing the IRB Sevens World Series to the relative ease at which you can obtain all ‘naturel‘ viagra. But today, I feel like taking out my frustration on two tv ads that have been airing on the local television channel.

First off, the Fiji Council’s annual FAME Awards. The awards are all about media excellence, with recognition in all fields of media. However, their tagline for the advert really irks me to no end.

After explaining what the Awards is all about, the tagline pops up:

“Can You Feel It?”

“Can You Taste It?”

I mean, seriously. Whats up with the whole ‘taste and feel’ perspective? Sure the advert is all about the Awards, and perhaps they’re trying to come from the victory point of view, but somehow, it doesn’t quite translate well after the Voice Over goes over the details of the competition only to end with the “taste and feel” tagline.

The whole ad comes across as seriously tacky. Whoever came up with that tagline ought to be shot. Twice.

The second tv ad thats successfully made my eyes twitch is an ad for a clothes washing detergent as well as an advocate for strippers everywhere. Ok I bluff on the last bit.

In this ad, people are taking off their tops (:O) but stop when the shirt reaches their face. Something to do with how fresh their clothes smell after using the washing detergent. Honestly, I would have preferred a chick doing a rock concert ‘bare all’, since that would have most definitely sold the product (but garnered protest marches from the methodist) and get everyone’s attention. Instead, we’re greeted with a close up shot of a guy’s fat stomach.


Similar to the picture above, minus the lovely tattoo, the shot had some guy’s stomach wiggling infront of the camera, and boy was that gut a sight for sore eyes. I’m guessing that guy is a grog champ. Only a stomach of that magnitude could live on with the help of kava, and lord knows how many sessions its been through.

So you can imagine. Every night, when I plump myself infront of the television, expecting to relax after a long tiring day at work, only to be greeted by the above image. Every single time that ad comes on I resist the urge to stick a buffy stake through my eyes. And then the FAME awards ad plays, and instead of my eyes, I attempt to shove the stake through my ears.

Fun times with the local tv station.

Here’s hoping that the introduction of more tv channels will at least broaden our choices of what poison we choose to behold.

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Fuck’s Kitchen

Posted by Wilson in television on July 23, 2007

image source: www.news.com.au

I like watching Oliver’s Kitchen. Not only do they do a great job of helping young troubled teenagers make their way into this world, but they give our only local free-to-air television station, Fiji TV, a great opportunity to teach the locals the finer tips of real, street-core swearing without all that censorship bullcrap that would otherwise prevent a great show from being shown at Prime time (straight after the national news).

Oliver’s Kitchen is a reality show for those of you not ‘in the know’, and with reality you get straight from the heart scenes, tears shed by both girls and guys, and very tasty vulgar dialogue that’s crying for the bleep button.

The lovely people at Fiji TV have apparently let slip all the lovely swears emitting from the mouths of the Oliver’s Kitchen crew, and the chefs are thus heard in all their primal raw glory.

The thing I don’t get is for a few episodes the ‘silence swears’ button/manager was working, and there were quite a few scenes where ‘fuck’ was let loose and quickly shut, but for other episodes it’s as if Fiji TV turned HBO.

Infact, todays episode was quite obviously submitted for broadcast without even so much as a quick check to see how family friendly it was.

Mind you, not everyone broke out in full teen talk with all the ‘biatch’ and ‘fucktard’ that we’ve all come to know and love as young people. After all they do have some sensibility.

Having said that, when they do actually swear (besides the young chefs-in-training, even poster boy Jamie is guilty of dropping the eff-bomb) it’s so brutal and painful to the ears at such a young hour in the night that if you’re watching with your family, mentally you’d wince and turn away, while your real face tries to stay poker and pretend that ‘fuck’ was as normal a word as cherrypie…

I wonder if anyone from Fiji TV actually watches the show and goes “hmmmm, there’s something not quite right about Oliver’s Kitchen. Perhaps its Jamie’s messy hair…or maybe the auzzie’s at-times-hard-to-understand accent…no no I got it…that girl has a nose ring…how the hell does she wipe her nose with a nose ring like that? Boy thing must be annoying saraga…”

Don’t you just love tv stations that promote ‘free speech’ ;)

Wonder they’ll ever get around to showing Oz” on Primetime after Oliver’s Kitchen finishes …man think of all those awesome torture methods that could help many an average joe in extracting info from his neighbour about whether his wife really is banging the bean peanut seller across the road…

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Finally. We get Internet TV?

Posted by Wilson in ISP, television on June 26, 2007


When it comes to entertainment in Fiji, options are far and few between. Besides the usual clubs and movies, there’s precious little that can keep you occupied on the weekend, save for rugby matches and pirate pr0n dvds from your mates.

As for free to air TV, because there’s only one channel, the ‘channel up/channel down’ buttons on your remote are pretty much useless. The paid channel Sky TV has its moments such as MTV, though why they don’t have a dedicated music channel and instead only show MTV at certain hours of the day is beyond me.

An alternative is in the works however, with the announcement that Unwired Fiji, one of the local ISPs here will be offering Streaming Services that essentially is streamed TV along a broadband connection.

Now while the article paints a rosy picture of the future of Streamed TV, forgive me for not jumping up and down with joy. I have about as much faith in local ISPs as I do in Paris Hilton being a virgin. I’m just not buying it.

From my previous posts about the local ISPs (Connect, Kidanet) it’s obvious how much I love these guys.

And what of Unwired Fiji? What about them?

I like their adverts thats for sure :) Classy, to the point, and obviously of overseas standard. Though I guess I needn’t mention the fact that Unwired is in-fact an Australian company.

Their bandwidth however, leaves much to be desired. During peak hours, connection is somewhat of a hit-and-miss affair i.e. you’ll be so pissed at not being able to make a connection that you’re more then likely to take pot shots at your $99 modem with whatever you can grab hold of.

It’s ironic that as a company with the catch phrase “No Wires, No Wait, No Worries”, they actually do have a waiting time when using the line during peak hours. Go figure.

Each modem from Unwired also comes with a hidden mini-game that starts when you hook up the modem to your pc, and discover that the receiving signal isn’t strong enough for you to make a connection.

Thats when stage 1 starts. The quest to find the mythical pedestal on which to place your modem to get that link. Bear in mind that the whole game is pretty much a stage 1. If you’ve found the sweet spot, but your pc is in another room/doesn’t have enough line, then you can pretty much say you’re fucked.

After which you’d go buy a signal booster.

So if Unwired does actually bring their streaming services to Fiji and along with it a fatter bandwidth, then great. No more “Hunt for the Golden Pedestal” games.

But for now, I’m better off being stuck with them pirate lovers, Connect.

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Are you a Fiji Meats man?

Posted by Wilson in advertising, television, video on June 4, 2007

Back in the 80s Fiji didn’t have TV. Believe it.

What passed for entertainment in those dark days was the billiard hall, the rugby field, and the local video store. Video stores varied from place to place, with SPR (South Pacific Recording…I know…doesn’t sound like a video store) being the main supplier of movies to the population.

When the new box of VHS tapes came from overseas, SPR would place adverts from various local companies at the beginning and end of the movies. Any type of company was game as long as they paid the dues.

From a local meat company “Fiji Meats” comes this awesome advert which basically says playing toss with a pigs head and showing close ups of grinded meat is what keeps the Fiji Meats Man going.

SPCA would be so proud. So would them vegetarians ;)

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