Cellar Image of the Day

Urban Dictionary, ever the source of mental amusement, defines Balls of Steel as Extreme Courage or Manliness. Alternatively, you could go with Extreme Stupidity, depending on the situation at hand.

In this regard, we have a newcomer to the field that both FijiLive and Fiji Village hold sway over. ConnectMe is Connect’s new baby, and with the opening of their website, have released a set of adverts both on tv and print.

Their short 15 seconder (is it?) TVC’s are funny, but it’s their print adverts that gets my attention. Here is a scan of their advert that appeared recently in the media papers:

Quite the ad isn’t it? They might have well just sent this for print instead and posted the same message:

Either they’re so drunk with power that they don’t mind making print papers look bad, or someone has a funny bone from watching too many episodes of Seinfield and thinks that everyone will find this funny. The annoying part about this ad is that they’re quite right. Newspapers are fast becoming ‘yesterdays’ news, so to speak. The internet has brought in a whole new ball game, and it remains to be seen just how the print media will fare against hordes of overnight bloggers, the nth ‘connectme’ website, and online only newsgroups.

source: Flickr.com

I’ve always had the belief that the best way to start learning a new language is by learning the words that will guarantee the most extreme reaction from its recipients i.e. either wide eyes, then a burst of laughter, or a sudden punch to the face, with an all out brawl ensuring. This will ensure that the meaning of your newly learnt word will be quickly imprinted in your mind, and, if you’re not careful, a black eye as well.

So, it is with much relish and evil glee that I present you with what should be, for all you non-fijian speaking readers out there, your first foray into the groggy, murky swear word list that is Fijian swears. Bear in mind a few points:

a) Swears are generally tagged NSFW i.e. Not Safe For Work. So if you don’t want your boss reading over your shoulder the definition of sona levu, then be careful when reading this article at work.

b) I will only be covering the most popular fijian swears, since as with any other language, one word is usually translated into many of the different dialects. Of course, with time, the popularity of certain swear words change, so for now this list is a reflection of whats the most popular trend in the filth department.

c) Please note that if you are in any way offended by anything vulgar, sexual, etc. this is the point where you close this webpage and load up something more friendly. Infact, here, click this: Hello Kitty. If you are offended, and you’re still reading this, then obviously your thirst for adventure is quite strong. Enjoy.

d) As with all of my previous posts, while I’ve tried to ensure that the contents of this article is accurate, it is open to correction and discussion. If you see something that is wrong and needs correcting, drop a comment and we’ll see what we can do. Just don’t use one of the new swear words listed below while you’re at it

Fijian Swear Words

The way this is going to be done as follows. The fijian swear word is in bold, followed by the spelling in english so that you can pronounce it. Quasi english spelling/pronunciations ensure. You have been warned.

NEW: Audio pronunciation of Fijian Swears is now available! Thanks to AT&T’s Text-to-Speech website, you can now hear the words uttered in a super sexy female british accent. Funny.

Boci:Boh thee) an insult where you call a guy uncircumcised. In Fiji, circumcision is taken as a norm amongst Fijian guys. If you’re not in, you’re not in. Its use isn’t specific to any particular situation, and is generally an insult.

Friend 1: Your hair makes you look stupid.
Friend 2: Boci.

Baku:(Baah Kuu) See Boci. Baku is of the Ra dialect.

Magai Tinamu:(ma ngai chee namu) This is one of the most popular swears out there, and one that will pretty much guarantee your status as ‘one with fijian vulgarity.’ The ‘Motherfucker’ of fijian swears. Use this version only when swearing directly towards another person.

Friend 1: Your shirt makes you look stupid.
Friend 2: Magai Tinamu.

Magai Tinana:(ma ngai chee nana) Similar to magaichinamu though in this case, instead of having sex with your mother, this word is actually directed at her err reproductive area. Best saved for cursing in general.

Commander: Jone? Did you forget to wash your boots today again?
Jone: Magai Tinana.
Commander: What? Get down on the floor and give me fifty push ups with my big fuckin boot on your lazy, good-fer-nothing head!

Caita:(Thy ta) Quite literally, fuck.

Stoner 1: Brutha, you can see heaven from here saraga!
Stoner 2: caaaaaiiiiiittttaaaa

Caiti Tamamu:(Thys tamamu) Fuck your father. Very strong insult, and generally used when wanting to initiate a fist fight.

Guy1: Hey listen, I don’t want to fight, but -
Guy2: Caiti Tamamu.
Guy1: …

Caiti Tamana:(Thys tamana) Fuck everyone’s father. A generous swear for a group of people.

Guy to rival sports fans: Caiti Tamana!

Caiti Iko:(Thy tiko) Fuck you. And just you.

Friend1: Your sunglasses makes you look stupid.
Friend2: Caiti Iko.

Dou Vei Cai:(Dou vei thy) Go fuck yourselves. Like caitamana this swear is geared towards two or more people, and is usually yelled out in retaliation etc.

Friend1: haha your team lost the game!
Friend2: Do vei cai you and your team…

Drau Vei Cai:(Drau vei thy) This is specifically for two people, telling them and only them to go fuck themselves. Use when you need to direct your insult at specifically two people.

Guy with girlfriend: Haha you lost the bet. Time to pay up.
Friend to guy with girlfriend: Drau Vei Cai =_=

Sona Levu:(Sona Levu) Large anus, probably due to the large amounts of butt secks that you have been engaging in.

Friend1: Your shoes make you look gay.
Friend2: Sona levu.

Matava sona:(Matava sona) Having a face that resembles an asshole. Funny.

Friend1: Your makeup makes you look like a matavasona.
Friend2: …

Cici Levu:(Thee Thee Levu) See Sona Levu.

Vutulaki:(Vutu lah kee) Masturbator, or engaging in the act of masturbation. Fijian version of ‘wanker’.

Friend1: He been take the blue home and vutulaki in the corner hahaha!

or

Friend1: What? You forgot? You one vutulaki saraga!

Lau vutu:(Lau vuu tuu) The act of anal sex.

Guy1: You see those two? They gay saraga.
Guy2: Yep. They baci lau vutu at home with the rewa butter.
Guy1: caaaaaiiiiitttta.

Samuraki:(Samu rahkee) Sexual Intercourse or the act of fucking, or having had sex with subject in question. Used interchangeably with the slang ‘root’.

Friend1: Hey is that Kim?
Friend2: Yeah. I been samuraki her last week.

Tonoka nomu cici:(Tonoka na nomu ee thee thee) Go poke your own anus. Or, if you want to tell someone to poke another person, then you can say Tonoka nona cici. Not necessarily full penetration, but more of a playful tom-foolery poke. Unless you’re a more in-depth sort of person.

Drau vei Tono:(Drau vei tono) Telling two people to poke each other in the anus. Similar to ‘the both of you go fuck yourselves‘

Friend1: Haha.
Friend2: Drau vei tono you bitches.

Kubuti Yau:(Kumbuu tee yau) Have oral sex with my penis. Straight to the peni point. Best used when you really want to offend someone. Like, really.

Friend1: So in closing, I’d have to say that you pretty much suck.
Friend2: …Kubuti Yau.
Friend1: Sorry?
Friend2:

Well folks, there you have it. Its not a comprehensive, total list, but rather a compilation of the more popular swears that have made it to our (mostly) young people’s mouths today. If you think a popular swear word was missed out, let us know! The same goes for the pronunciation/meaning.

Now get out there, and start practicing your swears! And in no time, you should be mixing it up with the best of them, filthy words and all.