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I had a minor scare the other day. Sharky was kind enough to point out that this upcoming weekend, two major events were scheduled to happen on the same day, both demanding a call to action from the locals. Both events are backed by the local tv station, as well as Fiji as a whole. Both events are for a worthy cause, and if followed, will result in substantial gains for the relevant parties.

However, both events cannot occur without one of them suffering a setback. Sacrifices must be made, sides must be taken, choices must be made. For it would be impossible to honour both, for they demand the utmost involvement, and cannot be for a second disregarded.

I speak of course, of Earth Hour and the Hong Kong Sevens.

Earth Hour is basically ‘turn – yo – lights – down – lo – to – give – mutha – nachure – a – chance’ hour. Sponsored by WWE WWF, from 8pm to 9pm on Saturday, anyone and everyone who has a soft spot for climate change, will turn off their lights to show that yes, we can change our planet for the better. Bear in mind though, that ‘turn off your lights for one hour’ does not mean ‘turn your whole house off’, thank goodness for that. Several of my friends have stated that, come Saturday night, they will be switching off their lights, and enjoy the world el naturel. I dare the local clubs to try and follow suit, since darkness + alcohol = mosh pit from hell…

And in the red corner, weighing in at a hefty USD$150,000 for its prize pool, is the nation’s pride and joy, where heroes are born and loses are taken out on the television, our beloved Hong Kong 7s weekend tournament. No other rugby event, save for the 7s world cup itself, has drawn as much attention, swears and tears as the HK 7s. Fiji has a special place in Hong Kong. It is there that our mighty serevi first made his mark, and Fiji became known as the rugby powerhouse that is is today. When it comes to sevens rugby and the weekend, all patriotic fijians and fijians-at-heart know what to do. Clear your schedule, load up on the grog, and make sure there’s a working television nearby. Because this weekend, nothing will satisfy our thirst for revenge other then the blood loss of every team that comes our way.

So whats the big deal about these two events clashing on the weekend?

Earth Hour is going to happen between 8pm to 9pm Saturday the 29th. The Hong Kong 7s runs for three days, all of the games starting in the evening. The overlap was painfully obvious. The choice was difficult.

Come Saturday night, where will I be? Infront of the television, baying for blood, beer bottle in one hand, my friend’s collar, who is cheering for the non-fiji team, in the other? Or will it be outside, the house behind me in darkness, the stars shining forth in their el naturel beauty, the silent crickets happily chirping away in the night?

Of course, the obvious answer would be to celebrate both at once, watching the sevens games in the dark, all the lights turned out. But any self respecting rugby fan will tell you, not a China’s chance of winning the cup in Hong Kong. Because in rugby, there will always be two types of people watching it. The ones who cheer for the local team, and the ones who don’t. And when the local team doesn’t make the cut, someone has to pay. With light, it is easier for you to point out the losers who weren’t cheering for the majority team, and ensure that justice is dealt swiftly and surely.

So lights out during the Hong Kong match was a no go for me. It was either hippie hour or lose your voice the next day come Saturday night. In a last ditch effort, I decided to rationalize, and compare the advantages of each of the events, in the hope that the facts produced will help me choose.

Earth Hour: You might get laid during Earth Hour.

I’d be wrong in assuming that people concerned with the environment and all things flowery and techno trance are hippies, but you have to admit, in these sort of gatherings, chances are, one in forty people will have a soft spot for the ‘make love, not war pollution’ thing, with a strong affirmation towards the ‘love‘ part. You never know.

Hong Kong Sevens: You might get into a brawl during the Finals after seeing Fiji lose.

Nothing gets the blood going like a good ol’ scrap during a rugby game. What did that guy just say about Ryder? Who is that falla cheering for again? Why is he giving me a bad look? Mai. Bring out the fists, and let physical superiority take charge. The ultimate male bonding activity besides bus stop gossiping and smoking weed.

Winner: Earth Hour

Earth Hour: Its for a good cause. The future of the world is in your hands.

Blackmail never sounded so good when the ‘its for a good cause’ card is played. Earth hour is all about getting people to think of caring for the environment more, and thinking less about that silly rugby game these simpletons are raving on about.

Hong Kong Sevens: Its for a good cause. We might actually beat New Zealand this time.

In Fiji, there are only two constants when it comes to intensely hating something. The New Zealand rugby team (both sevens and fifteens) and expensive taxi rides. Any game between Fiji and New Zealand is marked by extreme high blood pressure, shouting and hair tearing, and a considerable amount of alcohol consumed to dull the pain should we go down fighting. And thats been happening alot lately. Fingers will be crossed this weekend.

Winner: Hong Kong Sevens

Earth Hour: You’d be saving an hour’s worth of electricity

We’re all bargain hunters by nature. Nobody likes to pay the actual price of a product/service, and would, at times, go through extreme means in order to get a discount of a few cents. But you know what they say. A few cents today, a few dollars tomorrow. Which is why saving an hour’s worth of electricity come Saturday night seems slightly appealing. I’m not quite sure how much you’d be saving, but the key operative word here would be ‘saving’. And surely that must account for something

Hong Kong Sevens: You’d be cheering for Fiji. Period.

There’s this theory I read awhile ago that details something about the collective/psychological nature of multitudes of people doing something at the same time. Put it down as scientific bullshit, but somehow, deep down inside, I have this silly notion that if enough of Fiji cheered for their team during the games, if enough fans willed the country’s ambassadors on the field on, then, should Fiji lose, we know it wasn’t because we didn’t cheer for them hard enough…

Winner: Depends on how patriotic you are…

I was going to continue with debating the above, when I realized the obvious. Check the times, and see exactly what games fall between 8-9pm on Saturday night. Silly, yes I realize, but when your love for your country is called into question, you’d scramble eggs on your tummy Hot Shots style to convince anyone that you are that patriotic, let alone hammer out reasons why you’d support (insert worthy cause) for an hour.

Thankfully, the creatively named website Hong Kong Sevens has a schedule page, and after some annoying time zone conversions, the following results are as follows:

The highlighted yellow section is our now infamous 8-9pm evening earth hour slot, and as you can see, thankfully, the next Fiji game is at 9:50pm local standard nail biting time.

So all you hardcore face painting, earth loving, fiercely patriotic fans out there (and I take it there aren’t many of you), take heart in knowing that yes, both Earth Hour and the Hong Kong Sevens can be celebrated at the same time.

You can thank me by naming your kids after me.