Archive for category pic

Picture of the Month: Please be civilised

Posted by Wilson in ...ofthemonth, Food, pic on December 6th, 2009

Murgi Chicken

Because we all know how uncivilised chickens can be sometimes…

For those of us not in the know, uncivilised chicken is the literal translation of ’Jungli Murgi’, which is more of a slang description of how the chicken you’re about to eat was raised i.e. not cooped up in some unnatural metal meshed, artificial light, automatically feeding machines environment, fed weight lifting buff up vitamins along the way sorta up bringing.

No. This chicken was raised old school. Like, a simple fence, a tray with water, a little house on the prairie in the corner complete with adoring farm kids to chase them around, squeals of laughter abound, precious exercise for the coming night where the chickens have to play hide & seek with hungry mongoose. These chicken are Darwin darlings, bush bunnies, uncivilised. Ca.

Is there any taste difference between ‘uncivilised chicken’ and the run-of-the-mill manufactured versions? Of course. When you eat ‘jungli murgi’, know that you are consuming the bloodline of a thousand brave and defying chickens who laugh in the face of ‘progress’ and have struck a path on their own, forging through the tall grasses of the dangerous highlands of Naitasiri, pecking away at conventionalism, eating the very hearts of their enemies with cold precise eyes, crowing to the full moon on top of tallest mango trees, their very essence containing the spirit of the land upon which they live on.

Or something along those lines >.>

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Fail Pic of the Month: Fiji’s War Hero is err Hitler?

Posted by Wilson in ...ofthemonth, funny, pic on September 1st, 2009

Vinaka Hitler

The Fiji Times salute alludes to a more sinister figure then intended when they begun celebrations to honour our country’s World War 2 heroes.

Vinaka @Strangepants! :)

3 Comments

Picture of the Month: Fiji Time

Posted by Wilson in ...ofthemonth, pic, travel on July 2nd, 2009

Fiji Time license plate

This license plate is full of win.

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Labasa Represent!

Posted by Wilson in pic, travel on June 2nd, 2009

Via the Forward Fiji blog comes this great ‘holla back’ from California, USA on some fijian@heart’s car. For those not in the know, Babasiga is the greater Labasa area in Vanua Levu. It’s also a great blog written by Wendy and Peceli which showcases life up north.
Vina’a va’a levu mate! (Not too sure if it’s written this way…)

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1 Comment

Picture of the Week – Santa Fiji stlye

Posted by Wilson in christmas, pic on December 17th, 2008

From a forward of a forward of a forward from a friend. Exact origins are unknown, but it’s funky enough to warrant its own post. If you know where this is from let us know please aye :)
Gotta love the pinky extended on the right hand holding the kava bowl. I do belive this particular Santa was born and bred in Britain, table manners, tea time and all. Of course I’m not too sure if grog is included under the near all emcompassing umbrella of good table manners.

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3 Comments

Who will own the dome?

Posted by Wilson in advertising, pic on December 17th, 2008



We all know the deal. What was formerly known as the Post Fiji National Stadium has gone through several naming iterations thanks in part to the power of the advertising dollar. For each passing year the stadium goes through a name reboot and becomes whoever has bought out the right to plaster their name all over the front and further advertising banners surrounding the lot.
While I’m still waiting for Maxim to sponsor their title on the front, the more pressing question as to who will be the brand new name owner of a gymnasium bears some thought and light photoshop skills. A brief runthrough the daily newspapers will reveal the heavy hitters and most probable bidders for next years naming rights, if only by viewing the number of full page adverts per company. Since vodafone is the current owner for this years stadium, the remaining large businesses are all game.
Of course, with the disappointment at Vodafone for creatively calling the gym an Arena, we can only hope that next year’s offering will be somewhat more…awesome. However, instead of sitting on our laurels praying that someone will have the balls, nay, the adventurous spirit, to come up with an awesome title, we’ve decided to take that brave step and give a few ideas of what the stadium might look like had one of the decision makers decided to have a ball.
First up; If Courts Homecentres were the successors.

It was a long time ago, but the one jingle from Courts that was forever lodged in my head was the “Courts, Mammoth, superstore! Best in every way!” (Insert trumpeting noise). With that irreversible tune, Courts would do well to keep that same title and use it as their identifier, giant Mammoth and all.
Next is one of Fiji’s biggest retail outlets, Morrish Hedstrom.
Because Colliseum + 300’s Sparta = Awesome. Nuff said. (Thanks Sharky! :P )
And lastly, the most likely candidate for 2009, because any competition is good competition, Digicel.
I laugh if life throws us a curveball and instead goes with some totally out of the blue company such as the 99c shop.
If that were the case, to quote the Watchmen, “God help us all”.

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What is Wonderful about Great Literature…

Posted by Wilson in Education, engrish, literacy, pic on January 30th, 2008

When visiting town and having free time on my hands, I usually like to spend it visiting the bookstore to look like a smart-arse see what is the latest book on offer.

If you happen to enter this particular bookstore, you will notice that the following notice is worth noticing.

The Notice

The Fuck up Slip-up

What is wonderful about great literature is that it transforms the man who reads it towards the condition of the man who wrote. ~E. M. Forster

Although the above notice is not great literature, I would not want to be transformed towards the condition of the man who wrote it.

2 Comments

The Proposal of the Year

Posted by Wilson in advertising, bloggers, pic on December 2nd, 2007

Situated in Laucala Beach, the new multi-purpose sports gym is apparently the newest and hottest advertising spot to arrive in Suva. Forget magazines, billboards and browser pop-ups. If you’ve got the money to pay for the hefty advertising fee, you can have the sports hall named after your company for a whole year!

Aside from the potential confusion arising from the constant name change every year of the spot (“We go to the arena?” “No! We go to the dome!” “Duh – same thing!” “No it isn’t!”), the venue has the capability to generate a huge amount of advertising for 12 months by way of product placement in the biggest way. Imagine that. Pure, undulated brain-washing genius.

When it first opened, it was known as the Post Fiji National Stadium, Last year the place was known as the FMF Dome. This year, “Make the Most of Now” Vodafone has taken over the building, opting to name it an ‘arena’ so that people are fooled into thinking that Extreme Fights are hosted here.

At the moment this is what the arena looks like.

Meh.


After awhile, I thought, hey, I wonder what the place would look like, if, given the chance (and the deep pockets as well as kind heart of Babu Khan), this blog were to have its name plastered all across the front.

Now we’re talking…

Because this blog has covered a wide variety of stories depicting the never-boring life in Fiji, it only made sense to draw inspiration from some of its more stellar articles. The two stripdance-for-free girls were of course courtesy of Ed’s Bar post, and the grog invader Fred/Ken drawn from the Grog Invasion post.

What can I say? Sex, drugs and advertising go hand in hand :)

Any ideas for a Paradise Not Found Signage?

8 Comments

Its a des(s)ert out there…

Posted by Wilson in engrish, pic on November 26th, 2007

Fiji is known for its warm, sunny beaches, tropical forests and controversal turtle t-shirts. But in the heart of Suva lies a eco-system that is unlike anything known to man.


Photographed by our residential shutter-shark, Sharky, Village 6, the city’s cinema, is home to the world’s only ‘Ice Cream Desert’ landscape, complete with its many flavours, slightly chunky icicle bits, and a nice plastic wrapping to boot.

Highly recommended during the hot summer movie season. Ski boots and yeti not provided.

PS: If you have come across anything thats funny here in Fiji, or is related to Fiji in anyway, whether it be something as simple as the menu spelt wrong, or as terrific as the infamous chest porn, and you don’t mind sharing it with the world, share it with us! Send your funny pics/stories to failedparadise@gmail.com and we’ll be sure to post it to show everyone else just how much fun Fiji really is! Please note in the email whether or not you’d like to be famous and have your name included etc. Oh and don’t expect any mango skin in return. We’re fresh out of chaser…

7 Comments

Night Scene – Eds Bar

Posted by Allen in Bikini, Tourists, nadi, nightscene, pic on November 17th, 2007

“Eds bar” is the name of a popular nightspot in Nadi, and is frequented by many locals and tourists. I particularly mention tourists because you are bound to find one there each time you visit. In my opinion, “Eds” is the only decent nightspot in Nadi i.e. if you’re looking to have fun without getting a black-eye, compared to most of the dodgy nightspots there.

Unlike many of the bars or clubs in Suva, “Eds Bar” doesn’t have a strict dress code, and you can basically show up on a busy night in shorts and flip-flops.

Well enough with the seemingly promotion of “Eds Bar” and on to the main issue of this post. If you’re from Fiji or have connections to Fiji, most of you would have probably received an email in your inbox with the subject “Eds Bar”. If you haven’t, then you can probably expect one soon or you can view the main content right here. Please, no applause, I insist.

The email contains pictures of two females in their bikinis dancing on poles, posing behind the bar, on the dance floor, etc. What has made this email so popular in local circles is that occurrences such as this are rarely caught on camera for the amusement and entertainment of people here.

The background story (thanks to the coconut wireless), is that this incident occurred on a quiet Tuesday night (if it were a busy one, they certainly would have been swamped left, right, center, above, below), and the two performers were flight attendants of a foreign airliner. At the rate that this email is traveling, hopefully it doesn’t land in the inbox of their boss.

Special props goes out to the photographer for sending out these pics. To the two performers, we at “Failed Paradise” and our readers sincerely hope that you won’t get into trouble with your boss over this, and we send a big warm “vinaka vakalevu” for entertaining this tiny nation. [snickers]

As you can see, a replay of the Fiji vs Wales 2007 Rugby World Cup match
 is shown on screen

It’s quite obvious that they’re rooting for Fiji


The victory dance…

…Wait for it… 1, 2, 3…


… “It’s Britney B*tch… Gimme Gimme“ …

…“Gimme Gimme more”

Yes, a local female patron in the background is
loving every moment of this


For those that have never been to “Eds Bar”, here is proof
of the laxity in dress code. Shorts and Flip-flops. Suva, please take note


The slogan on the guy’s t-shirt says it all


I wonder what that guy is smiling about… hmm


Isn’t it amazing that there’s more than
one photographer at work


That there is a nice “Bula shirt” a.k.a. Hawaiian Shirt


How many bottles can you see in here?


Taking time out to pose with a fan. Which one’s the star?


Are those Milo cans in the top right corner?


Notice the red eyes in amongst the crowd below? Cool!


I saw a scene like this in Coyote Ugly


19 Comments