This just in: According to the Fiji Times today (3/5/11) the most powerful man in the world today, the first black american to be elected President of the United States of America, Barrack Obama, is DEAD.

Oh wait. It’s just a typo. In a national newspaper. Fox News Style.

In the mass media frenzy that was Osama Bin Laden’s death, someone fell asleep at the keyboard. Heads will most certainly roll with this one.

Vinaka Keith Sweat for the image.

image: www.ebayimg.com

I’ve always wanted to see what a wanted sign looks like, the kind that heralds back to the dark, hi-ho silver days of the wild west. Granted you could always start the trusty google and fire up those search engines, but nothing beats having the real thing in front of you for that up close and personal scrutiny.

Modern day wanted notices, heralding to the more simple rule of “people remember mug shots, not posed studio images”, present a more grim picture, where the ‘wanted’ and the ‘why’ both come into play at the top, so that people will know whats the notice for, and why some random ugly poser is gracing their walls.

image: Boston Police Department News

Fiji’s versions of wanted posters are somewhat of a more simple affair, and in this instance, not even sanctioned by the local authorities. Though it does bring to question whether all ‘wanted’ notices are to be sanctioned by a governing body, say for example, the police or lawyers. Are lawyers even interested in wanted signs? And for that matter, do lawyers send out movie-esquire bounty hunters who score the landscape, looking for those people who’ve missed out on their jury duty/bail payment/court visit?

This sign sits on the door entrance of Comsol Fiji Ltd, and is almost easy to miss if the office door is open (which it usually is), and you’re more interested in seeing whats the latest movies Comsol has to offer (which is probably why you’re there in the first place) then to notice some badly photocopied notice hastily stuck on the front door.

Why does Comsol have a wanted poster on their front door? Why because Comsol has a stake in it after all.

When someone walks away from your store with items worth more than six grand, you’d be pissed too. I’m pretty curious as to the circumstances of how said con man walked away with those items (and I’m still trying to figure out whether the six grand was in dvd movie costs…that’s alot of dvds…), though I doubt Comsol would want to reveal just how they were made a tomfoolery by the mysterious “above person”.

Needless to say, the photo is of poor quality,thanks in part to my somewhat lacking mobile phone camera. However, the photo/printout was lackluster in itself, and did not help with the process of photography on my part. It’s a pity that a wanted poster such as this fails in its duty to inform not because of its basic design, but rather on the main draw card that may bring said con man to ‘justice’, the actual photo.

People looking to claim the $200 award will be sorely disappointed when their only source of description of “above person” will be restricted to ‘Indian man with mustache’. And trust me, there’s quite a few of them around. Indian men with mustaches, not con men…although there’s plenty of con men to go around as well.

Good luck with that.

Fiji’s no exception. While I can’t exactly speak for the 70s and 80s period (and library research doesn’t sit well with me…something about those book cases…), I can recall a major franchise to hit Fiji back in the early 90s. They say the quickest way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. The same could be said about impressing the locals with the ways of the infamous fastfood label industry.

Mcdonald’s opening in Nadi didn’t go too well with me, and grumblings from fellow suva mates as to why that ‘town in the west’ got the major upgrade, leaving Suva in dark were shared across the city. But hey, Fiji in general was now a certified First World Poser! Tourists can now come to Fiji, despair at the lack of support for credit cards, cable TV and bums who clean your car windows for money, but then feel almost at home again with the familiar rounded M gleaming in the distance.

You have to love the power of Franchise.

Following the opening of Mcdonalds, other franchises, some albit unknown, made their presence known. It was to be the golden age of business franchise branch opening here in Fiji, and at first, nothing could go wrong. When KFC played their ads on TV, you could close your eyes and imagine yourself watching television in Sydney, auzzie accents and all. When Eagle Boys Pizza announced their home delivery pizza system, it was just like in the movies even. Life was great.

However, all good things must come to an end, albit in this case, with somewhat of a whimper. When Eagle Boys Pizza opened, not in the heart of the main city of Suva, but rather on the outskirts, in a suburb called Valelevu, I was slightly taken back. Somehow, I just couldn’t see a snazzy jazzy pizza parlour such as Eagle Boys Pizza survive in an area that isn’t known for its spending power compared to say, a more upper class region such as Tamavua. My gut told me this was all wrong. The boss for the branch didn’t seem to think so.

“Valelevu has quite a large population,” he said in a tv interview, “There should be no problem operating in an area such as this.”

Last month, without so much as a notice, they closed down. Edit: Apparently the pizza boys closed down a lot earlier then previously mentioned (thanx for the tip Picky Eater (: ), almost 18 months ago infact. Ouch.

And the bigger irony is that the video store beside them, another (auzzie?) franchise was also in dire straits.

Apparently, being Ezy wasn’t enough to keep the franchise afloat. While they too opened with a flurry of activity and branches fiji-wide, slowly but surely, they came under fire from the one form of competition that holds a special place in alot of locals. Piracy. That, and trying to go up against Rowell, who weren’t really pirates per say, but their VCD prices were of pirate quality, with some movies going as low as a dollar. Compare that to Video Ezy’s $4.99 a night rental fee, and you can see why they struggled to hold up against the ever resourceful Rowell.

In Video Ezy’s defense, they were doing Fiji a favour by bringing in movies that most video stores, with the exception of IMDVD, would shy away from, the ones with little or no action, indie flicks etc. Sadly enough, like indie flicks, artistry doesn’t quite mean popular.

Last month Video Ezy had to close down their Lautoka Branch, with their Tamavua and Ellery Street branches already shutdown. While the company director Uday Singh has already written to the relevant authorities on the piracy issue, somehow, something tells me that not much is going to be done about it unless:

(a) Comsol is silly enough to try its hands at distributing rugby matches that were shown on Fiji TV, and attrach police/Fiji TV/media’s attention resulting in a great hullabaloo that’ll resonate for say…oh I don’t know…less then a week before everything reverts back to normal.

(b) Certain pirate movie stalls will be closed down swiftly at a Show/Festival/Gathering by FAVIA, resulting in a great hullabaloo that’ll resonate for say…oh I don’t know…a few days before everything reverts back to normal.

Does this mean that overseas franchises are doomed here in peaceful, coup-happy Fiji? Nonsense! Mcdonalds is alive and well, with its steady supply of teenage obese diet of burgers and coke, and a few blocks away, KFC clucks away merrily, although they seem to be less popular then the magic M. We’ll have to see how this goes.

Is there any other overseas franchise that has opened here in Fiji, and is thriving/failing?

PS: Maya Dabha not taken into account, since they’ve only just opened…and Rizwan doesn’t take too lightly to their lack of door opening attendees, dry roti, oily rice and orange/red chicken ;P

There’s talk of the national rugby team coming back to Fiji and receiving a hiding from anyone who cares to give it. And the line seems to be growing.

Earth Hour: Meg celebrates Earth Hour in style! Treasure Island does its part to protect the earth, and the hour is filled with candle lights, lamps, and an enthusiastic, live and unplugged band to keep guests happy. Oh, and more great night photography.

Uplifting Women of Fiji: Wendy of Babasiga showcases a few worthy non-profit projects being run in Fiji, one of them being Uplift Fiji, where they supply second-hand bras to the women in the rural areas of Fiji. Donations of all kinds follow, and its heart-warming to see all these goods being donated and handed to those who need it greatly. A worthy read.

Yellow Feather Duster to the Rescue!: cieart gets creative! Collage craft pieces aplenty in this post, and its quite the collection.

Quien No Ilora por amor: Besides making my head sore with the spanish title, Freelance45 manages to get both philosophical as well as catch up with a good friend over some really expensive korean food, and ending up doing an impromptu review of korean food. “Word to the wise: If it looks like grass….it probably tastes like grass too“

Let’s have a Protest March – Virtually – Flowing on from So Kon Po: This is interesting. The anonymous folks at Intelligentsiya have come up with an ingenious way of protesting the current regime by organising a virtual protest march. Yes, I know I promised this blog neutrality when it comes to politics, but this is an interesting concept. I’m mighty curious to see what the outcome of this initiative will be.

Central Cuisine: After eating there for awhile, I noticed something about the food though I couldn’t quite put a finger on it. After reading Lunch In Suva’s review of the restaurant, I realized then what was it. Follow the link to see their consensus on the ‘macdonalds’ of chinese food here in Suva.

The Wonders of Steelwool: Bellerophontes finds out just how effective good ol’ steelwool is, and does a little impromptu spring cleaning on his pots and pans collection. Oh, and he gets his hands on the Ballu K & Agnes B. Sex Tape. Interesting…

Digital Talanoa: Customer Services II: This is fun. Jonathan, the mighty crusader for all services good and efficient compares Customer Service between Amazon.com and a local retailer who near puts him to the wire with their amazingly great (not) and patient (read: can’t wait to get rid of customer) service. 50 brownie points if you can figure out what promotion he’s talking about, and an extra 50 if you pinpoint exactly who was the infamous retailer.

Online Communities: Rizwan takes a closer look at what exactly makes online communities work. Facebook, Hi5, even designer-nightmare-Myspace gets the microscope treatment. How much is too much information in such a network as this?

Una Boliviana en Fiji – Monday, March 24, 2008: Thanks Meg for pointing out this blog! Danica is a Peace Corps volunteer who works as a Youth Health Education Officer up in Savusavu. Her blog is full of wonderful stories about rural life, flying roaches, Halloween-fiji-style, and at times, just plain fun and mayhem. A great read. PS: Any help with the name of the blog translated?

While most people took that opportunity to either enjoy some much needed sunshine, partake in the greater pleasures of alcohol, or spend time with their families and episodes of Everybody Loves Raymond, so far the past two long weekends has resulted in me slaving at my square screen at work.

Fingers crossed this final longest of long weekends will be work free. If not, houses will burn.

Awesome Experimental Comic Post: Awesome Cake dares to be different, and takes a more visual approach to his next post. Also guest starring a ninja. I likes ninjas.

The Cost of Living in Fiji: It really is going up. Babasiga examines the cost of certain foods and services around the general Nadi area, for example, a movie costs between $2 to $4. Nice.

You Can Say That Again: cieart (with a small c mind you) wonders just whats up with the whole ‘you can say that again’ line. Come to think of it, it is in that Paint tv ad…

Human Rights Report Critiques Blog Censorship: Thrashor ponders the US report on the Human Rights, which also spotlights the recent local blogging drama with the Government vs Annoymous Blogging.

Back to Reality Back to Life: Back from his recent trip to Rotuma, Freelancer’s brimming with new found life and vigor! And is also sporting a nice tan. And does Rotuma look as lovely as ever.

Kata kata na nDraki (its too darn hot): Meg Campbell-Back of Megcampbellback.typepad.com experiences a really hot day up in the West. Aside from getting to practise some fijian phrases (“kerea mada e dua na tavai wai LEVU” I would like a LARGE bottle of water), she also had a flat battery in the boat, which didn’t quite help with the whole heatwave moment. Oh and if there was ever was an award for ‘blog with best professional pictures’, her blog would take it. Without a doubt.

Exaggerated Annoyances: What annoys the crap out of you? Red Ants? A program switching your screen resolution? Firefox not saving when you want to save? Yep. It annoys May as well.

Digital Talanoa: The Talanoa of Serving Customers: When it comes down service, Jonathan has a bone to pick with it. Why? Because in a previous post, he’s experienced the best restaurant service ever in Suva, and he wants to make sure everyone hears his experience

Note: In reference to the apparently changed title, it’s weekly, bi-weekly, you know…around that period.

Basically, the blogsphere is “a collective term encompassing all blogs and their interconnections”, the interconnections in this case being of course blogs of Fiji content. While I’ll admit that our blogging circle is small, it is a growing circle. And because this is a circle, I will try and include all blogs of local content, regardless of whether you blog about the life cycle of Fijian roaches or the alcoholic content of the new Fiji Bitter Premium beer.

However, I will stay away from the countless political blogs out there, as we’d like to stay neutral when it comes to politics since we like our exercises free of…persuasive nature.

Now, on to the good stuff:

I like beautiful blurs: Albie falls in love! Sparks fly, food is cooked, and saliva is exchanged. Tissues and a hug are highly recommended for this read.

Meanwhile, Back in the rural areas: With the country is supposed turmoil, Labasa trudges on, as its just another day in the friendly North. A few pictures of the rural life are posted.

Melbourne: cieart (with a small c mind you) enjoys what Melbourne has to offer, going on a shopping spree, shivering in the unexpected cooler tempreture, and attending a raggamuffin concert to boot.

ICT Information Warfare and RFMF: Digital Fiji examines the Fiji Military Forces latest foray into the new information age.

A boy has his toys and guy his gadgets: Freelancer45 gets out his giant product/service hammer and lays the smackdown review on a Philishave 40 from MHCC.

Vanua Arcade Sandwich Bar:After a momentary hiatus, the lunch crew of Lunch in Suva are back with a hunger for new restaurant/food reviews (lame – ed). First up…Weird Korean Fusion Focaccia. Favourite line from the review – “The staff seem generally confused but they are competent enough.” ^_^

May of Mayvelous had a post of her moment in the spotlight in which she was featured in a teen magazine, but due to overwhelming requests from raving fans for more autographs, she’s decided to make said post hidden. However, a congratulations is in order for appearing in a teen magazine. Cheers May!

Software Piracy: Navinesh examines software piracy, its apparent rampage in the Pacific due to lack of education/awareness, and what can be done to do the right thing.

Fiji TV Editing: This is a great read. Jonathan Segal goes on TV and gets misquoted. Amazing how ‘Segal says‘ and ‘Segal agreed‘ can totally mess up the entire take on the issue.

The Reality of Blogging: Blog responsibly, and if you’re going to kick shit at someone, do so with your real name. Rizwan talks about blogging with credibility.

Think we’ve missed a local blog that you think should go up on the blogsphere list? Email us at failedparadise@gmail.com and tell us or leave a comment

Note:Promoting Suva has alot going on. Rather then list what they posted over the past week and fill up your entire screen x5, or post one event and risk the anger and suicide bus drivers from the other events that were missed, we’ll play fair. Just follow the link