/shrug

It’s Fabio. He mentions Fiji. There’s an ukulele and a floating coconut.

What can I say. It’s the Christmas holidays.

Hello December!

It’s time to celebrate the close of the old year, and welcome the beginning of the end of the world. And what better way to do that then with the thunderous sounds of the home-made bamboo gun.

There’s a certain science involved in getting a bamboo gun to work. I, however, will not bore you with that today. Instead, here is a video of someone else’s misfortune at the expense of one locally grown bamboo gun.

Watching the man react in shock to the explosion reminds me a bit of this:

Uro (Fijian): Slang; Title used to describe a sexy person.

Uro Club: A group of sexy people who hang out together; The top of the social ladder; In a high school movie, these people would consist of the football team and the cheerleading squad; Potential politicians, trophy wives and BP Oil Spillers; The 1%. (Note: There actually is no Uro Club – Ed)

(Golf) Uro Club: I don’t play Golf. I’m so confused…

Amongst the more naughtier circles of conversation, making a circle shape with your pointer finger and thumb means basically one thing: your arse.

Holding it up equals “This. Is your arse.” The bigger the circle you can make, the more the joke is on your intended victim.

For those of you who don’t understand Fijian, here’s a rough translation of the joke, although jokes like these are best spoken and acted out rather then read. Also it goes without mention that if you do indeed know Fijian, you can skip this here below paragraph and just watch the video via yasiboiyawa.

A kaivalagi (white person) man visits a fijian village and becomes good friends with one of the village men. They hung out a lot, worked together in the garden etc. Soon, it was time for the kaivalagi to go back. It was a sad moment for the both of them. The (somewhat old & noisy) bus arrives, and they exchange tearful goodbyes. ”Goodbye!” Said the fijian man, “Goodbye! Make sure you come back one day!” The kaivalagi nodded, held his hand up in the ‘Ok’ sign and yelled “OK!”.

Without missing a beat, the Fijian man shakes his hand furiously in the same hand signal and screams, “THAT’S YOUR SIZE!”

Why does this look familiar, yet somewhat confusing? Perhaps this will jog your memory:

Apparently Dragonball Z is getting into the market of dish cleaning Hair care products!

Of course it makes sense, looking at the amount of hair gel needed to keep the guy’s hair up.

Next up: Dragonball balls.

Vinaka Kat Leewai for correctly pointing out that Shine was for hair,not for dishwashing >_<

This just in: According to the Fiji Times today (3/5/11) the most powerful man in the world today, the first black american to be elected President of the United States of America, Barrack Obama, is DEAD.

Oh wait. It’s just a typo. In a national newspaper. Fox News Style.

In the mass media frenzy that was Osama Bin Laden’s death, someone fell asleep at the keyboard. Heads will most certainly roll with this one.

Vinaka Keith Sweat for the image.

So Foster’s Group Pacific has just released Beer Towers into the wild. And you have to ask yourself, what is this unnatural abomination that has been unleashed upon the unsuspecting beer patrons of Fiji? What unknown element will this tower of terrifying possibilities bring to the balance of the single jug taki? How many more jugs must be bought before one brave soul steps up to test their mettle against that which cannot be drunk in one go, but is done anyways, against all odds?

Questions, questions, questions.

Yeah.

In case you’re wondering, that is me in the last frame, attempting to communicate with the god of beer through self-induced kidney failure.

Who am I kidding. Beer Towers are awesome.

Today’s comic is brought to you by the talented and at times devious hands of Awesomecake. Feel free to drop by his site for an unbalanced mixture of humour, comics, cartoons and at times sad signs of the lack of social interaction with his fellow humans via the acquisition of a new video game.

A sight often seen on public service vehicles (but not buses…bus companies tend to frown upon employee’s creative decorations), these vehicle stickers adorn the back of the taxi or minibus, usually accompanied by a barrage of other stickers that fight for your attention (or conspire to cause a rear ender). What’s unique about this particular sticker and the reason why it is this week’s ‘Photo of the Week’  is the fact that the text that accompanies the sticker isn’t meant to be as is.

“Your Text” is a place holder, with the actual intended end tagline to be of the owner’s doing, by choosing from a selection of letters that come with the sticker.

Here’s the kicker: I have not seen 1 sticker with a customized title. Not one. Literally all of the stickers I’ve, with many picture variations (the more popular version being Hobbes taking a piss) all have the same placeholder ‘Your Text’ and left as is. It’s almost as if everyone thinks ‘Your Text’ is as cool as the cartoon image above it, with a meta hidden meaning behind it that can only be understood if you leave the placeholder tagline and act like you meant to to spell it out that way. Or that you actually know what it means, but won’t tell anyone for fear of losing the air of mysteriousness about you.

The education begins now.

Seen in the Fiji Times Village 6 movie times section is this classic slogan re-worded to suit the reading and comprehension level of the locals.

To reiterate; The slogan for the movie in the above badly pixelated photo reads:

They are the most dangerous killers on the planet but this not our planet.

Boy I sa scared saraga, but the ad heavy I sa want to go watch this movie boy.

We go?

We all love a good prank. Or two. One time when I was a young fiddlestick, my neighbour and I tried to play this prank where we’d pretend that the neighbour’s sister had a phone call at my place (being the only place with a landline in my street those days had its pros and cons) and that she had to come quick to answer it. Before she reached the entrance of my home we jumped at her, screaming and throwing a bucket of water at her shocked face. Needless to say the prank fell apart when I realized I was supposed to only throw the water and not the bucket with it. I blame my waiwai fingers.  The bucket smacked her head and she went down like a sack of dalo. She was ok, but that evening I got a special hiding from my dad who broke the broom in two just for this special occasion. After that my neighbour and I didn’t see each other that much. The sister even less so.

Thankfully, Jonathan of Oceanic gets his prank on, which doesn’t involve concussions or figures of speech involving loose sacks of dalo, but rather…missing ducks.

Via Oceanic