Archive for category Fiji Water

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past 4 years in Fiji it’s inevitable that you’ve seen the growing excitement that is the upcoming Rugby World Cup which is just around the corner. Fiji TV has been crowing to the masses that they’re the ‘official broadcasters for the IRB Rugby World Cup 2011”. Competitions are spawning left, right and center from entrepreneurs eager to cash in on the rugby hype, and no amount of ‘you’re not associated with IRB’ is going to stop them, with promotions running vague ‘the Rugby event of the year is here!’ taglines. Lines have been drawn, team loyalties have been declared and already there’s been skirmishes abound…

As a local, you’ve no doubt got your favourite team lined up and ready, play times inserted in your otherwise empty schedule book, team members names and battle scared faces memorized, even vakachi lines committed to memory should someone else’s team lose to yours.

If, somehow, you’re sorta new to all of this, have about as much knowledge of Rugby as you do the chemical composition of the soil from Mars, think the oval ball is shaped funny and usually zone out when the guys in the room scream and sob as their team gets hammered, then don’t worry, I’m not here to convince you into it.

However, there will come a time when your attention will be demanded, your voice will be needed, your loyalty and knowledge be called into question and you will be asked to participate in certain rugby fan related activities that, if you are not well prepared for, could result in disaster.

Fear not, for this is where this guide will step in to help you get through these rough and trying 2 months of rugby hell. Here’s a few tips on how to give the illusion that you’ve come to this rugby season ready to rock, and maybe, just maybe, you’ll be good enough to fool the significant other into thinking that you really do like Rugby.

1) Pick A Team

“Hold on a minute,” you might think, pen and paper frozen as you squint your eyes, “won’t I need to learn how the game works?”

Psshh. This is all about appearances. Since the Rugby World Cup is going to start pretty soon, you’re not going to have much time memorizing how the game works. [Or you could just watch this quick 7 minute video to bring you up to speed.] Instead, we’re going with the assumption that you’re at home, enjoying a nice hot cup of tea curled up in your comfortable lounge reading a Sookie Stackhouse novel when BAM! Your boyfriend and his mates/neighbour and their mates/tavales and the rest of the family/workmates burst into your house, scream some garble about a rugby match going on, deposit you on the floor, fire up your brand new 32” LCD flatscreen, and occupy what was a minute ago your personal reading space, all the while asking what are you doing down there and to hurry up and tell them who’s your team.

So, the first step to acceptance is picking a team.

It’s not that hard. Here’s a roster of the teams playing and when they’ll be playing courtesy of Fiji TV.

If you want to play it safe, choose either: New Zealand, South Africa, England or Australia. These four countries have each won the World Cup, so your choice says that you’re a believer in history repeating itself. If you want to be a bit more edgy but risk further discussion into your choice of team, go for: France, Argentina or Samoa. France has reached the finals a few times, with Argentina and Samoa being more of the dark horse entries. Of course, if you’re local, the easiest would be to side with Fiji, since we have a low chance of reaching the semi-finals thanks to our death pool, thus earning you wiggle space when it comes to dropping your enthusiasm for rugby. “We lost” you can simply shrug.

2) Memorize your Team’s National Anthem Chorus Ending Line

Before the rugby match begins, they’ll usually play both team’s national anthems. This is the bit where rugby diehard fans stand up, clench their chest, and try to match their team’s pitch in both song and fervor. If you’re with such people, be sure to stand up, grab your mates, hang an arm around their shoulders, and pretend to sing. You don’t have to sing the whole national anthem, just hang in there (literally) with a grin or a tear in your eye, depending on whether you’re watching a pool match or the finals.

To truly earn the respect of your fellow rugby fan friends, you can (attempt) to sing along, though choose your moment carefully. Usually the end of the chorus of the national anthem is where you’d want to be heard, a vocal cry of support to your country of choice, and a proclamation that yes…this is…your (for these 2 months) team.

3) Wear the Colours

Beat the questions of where your loyalty lies to the punch and wear your team’s colours. Getting a huge flag draped around your shoulders is the easiest way to declare your team without having to colour coordinate your carefully selected evening wear. But if you’re fresh out of flags, then getting a rugby jersey would be the next best thing. That or simply writing ENGLAND across your white shirt. That helps too.

4) Cheer. A lot.

Get your vocal pipes warmed and in tune; you’re going to be cheering. A lot. Nothing says “SCORE OR I’MA BOMB YOUR PLANE WHEN YOU COME BACK!” like a fan screaming their guts out at the TV. Applaud when your team plays a penalty (don’t know when they do? Follow the friends who cheer for your team). Groan when a member of your team gets sent off with the magic red/yellow card. (Yellow card = bad. Red Card = very bad.) And lose it when your team scores a try. Like seriously, lose yourself. Scream, yell, jump up and down, hug (its ok guys, you can do it too), jump on the table (provided there is one, and it’s yours). Anything goes. Except of course burning the house down. Save that for when Fiji loses their matches.

5) Drink. A lot.

To complete the circle, you’re going to be doing a lot of drinking. Whether it be drinking alcohol in the clubs, or grog at the cousin’s place, a certain amount of liquid is going to be most certainly consumed during these two months. Celebrate your win with a few rounds of Fiji Bitter. Or hang your head in silence around the bowl of grog. Whatever the scenario may be, pull in your stomach and gird your taste buds. It’s going to be a long, tongue numbing, speech impeding session that may or may not make the time pass faster.

Sticking to these 5 tips won’t turn you into some Rugby God, but it should help you get through those times when your house isn’t your own, or your night out with your friends gets hijacked when they play a match on the TV. Of course, if you’re watching the rugby match at your uncle’s home and he asks you whether New Zealand’s defense is up to speed or not in comparison to say South Africa, then you’re on your own.