Failed Paradise » advertising

Old Spice: New Guy: Fiji

Wilson — Tue, 20 Dec 2011 23:42:16 +0000

/shrug

It’s Fabio. He mentions Fiji. There’s an ukulele and a floating coconut.

What can I say. It’s the Christmas holidays.

Flash Mobs. Now in Fiji.

Wilson — Tue, 29 Nov 2011 03:21:10 +0000

There’s a certain barometer to judge the progress of a country’s awareness to pop culture and the like. Inserting ‘lol’ in your conversation, Chuck Norris jokes, hating on Twilight, Jersey Shore quotes, and Star Wars in all its prequel and original glory. While certain points of awareness pass without much fanfare and/or recognition, with the advance of the internet, it’s becoming easier to crow about your achievements to the (online) world.

Flash mobs are a particularly tricky feat. There’s people to organise, a venue to be chosen and scoped out, security to be noted, a crowd to appreciate your antics and not least of all, not having someone crash your carefully rehearsed play.

Vodafone has stepped up and claimed the country’s ‘first’ ever Flash Mob title, if ever there was one, done at the 2nd floor of MHCC in Suva City.

Using what looks like a combination of Zumba dance swings and country step movements, the ‘brought to you by Vodafone’ flash dance squad catches the MHCC food floor crowd by surprise when a girl initially starts the action, prompting worrying glances of ‘Friday Night party rockers still on the loose’. Thankfully when the rest of the mob joined in (albit a bit too quick I reckon, the video does stretch for awhile when the whole group forms up) it became a bit more obvious this was something planned.

Although, if it wasn’t for the ‘VODAFONE!’ screaming at the end with their shirts ripping open to reveal (thankfully) Vodafone shirts, then it could have been a Bollywood movie come alive. Now that’s a proper flash mob.

Youtube Video of the what is this I don’t even – Uro Club

Wilson — Wed, 23 Nov 2011 20:46:44 +0000

Uro (Fijian): Slang; Title used to describe a sexy person.

Uro Club: A group of sexy people who hang out together; The top of the social ladder; In a high school movie, these people would consist of the football team and the cheerleading squad; Potential politicians, trophy wives and BP Oil Spillers; The 1%. (Note: There actually is no Uro Club – Ed)

(Golf) Uro Club: I don’t play Golf. I’m so confused…

Photo of the Week: SuperWatchmen8

Wilson — Wed, 20 Jul 2011 23:28:40 +0000

(This is how I think it goes down at the local cinema’s advertising department)

Graphic Designer: Boss, here’s the poster for the new Super 8 movie.

Boss: What? Where? This? What’s this?

Graphic Designer: It’s…the poster. For the movie.

Boss: Poster?! We can’t use this for our newspaper times ad! Looks like someone forgot to turn the camera the right way up! Why are there silhouettes? Where’s the main star power?

Graphic Designer: Well it’s about a bunch of kids tha -

Boss: KIDS?! This poster ain’t no Harry Potter! Get me another poster for the movie!

Graphic Designer: Well we have the teaser poster…

Boss: Sweet Mary – did I just walk into a fucking Art Gallery? Where are the people? Last time I checked, movies were about people! People!

Graphic Designer: Well it’s going for more of a minimalistic -

Boss: Minimalistic your pay grade! I want a person in place of this damn artsy fartsy camera glorification photo of a damn poster!

Hmmm….say….remember that movie with that blue glowy guy whose dong was all you could look at -

Graphic Designer: Watchmen.

Boss: Yeeahh. That one. Grab a picture from that movie and put it in. People here like superheroes. Besides, there’s a damn ‘super’ in the title of this one, we might as well give them something to get excited over.

(Later)

Fail Picture of the Week: Dragonball…Shine?

Wilson — Wed, 18 May 2011 05:36:20 +0000

They say ‘Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery’. I’d have to say this van signage I came across recently is so utterly sincere I can almost picture the puppy eyes. Like. Right there. In the signage.

Why does this look familiar, yet somewhat confusing? Perhaps this will jog your memory:

Apparently Dragonball Z is getting into the market of ~~dish cleaning~~ Hair care products!

Of course it makes sense, looking at the amount of hair gel needed to keep the guy’s hair up.

Next up: Dragonball balls.

Vinaka Kat Leewai for correctly pointing out that Shine was for hair,not for dishwashing >_<

Smell Like a Fiji with Old Spice Fresh Collection

Wilson — Thu, 24 Feb 2011 09:39:52 +0000

File this under "I'ma blog about this right now...after I get the flying dolphins in Robot Unicorn..."

Fiji is known for many things.

Swaying palm trees, smiling faces, meh sevens rugby teams, world record coconut tree speed climbing, delightful weather, happy termites, exquisite spear carvers, articulate airport greeters, grumpy taxi drivers, the works.

Now, thanks to Old Spice, you can add “Near Pop Culture Status Antiperspirant” to the list.

Old Spice, that cool, suave spray commonly associated with confident leather surrounded Bruce Campbell and now the manliest of all things manly Isiah Mustafa, has anointed our beloved Fiji Islands its very own collection of personal care products with our name plastered over the front. In the category of ‘scent vacations’, Fiji and Cyprus are the only scents given their name based on the country as a whole, and not of the singular location such as Matterhorn or Denali.

In the usual ‘Old Spice’ charm, their livid descriptions of each of the 3 Fiji personal care products range from ‘true dat’ to ‘seriously?’:

Fiji Antiperspirant

“For the cost of a stick of antiperspirant you can send your armpits to the exotic islands of Fiji where they will smell like palm trees and sunshine. Compare that to sending your entire body to Fiji, which costs thousands.”

Actually for Australians and New Zealanders alike, it’s quite cheap, probably a week or two of hard labour in the sun. Of course, the world isn’t as close to Fiji as them. Just sayin’…

Fiji Body Wash

“From the tropical islands of Fiji, man created one of his greatest inventions: the hammock. Hammocks are what man would sleep in if it weren’t for women, who require sheets and pillows and spring mattresses. But even if you rise from one of these so-called beds, you can still retreat to the shower and wash yourself in the fresh “scent hammock” of Fiji Body Wash.”

…I want a hammock now. They make it sound so…inviting…

Fiji Deodorant

“When man first discovered the islands of Fiji, he said, “Oh, wow. I’ll bet that years from now, other men will have bikini photo shoots on these very beaches.” They said this even though they didn’t know about bikinis or photo shoots. That’s because the scent of Fiji is so cool and refreshing, it inspires true visionary art thousands of years ahead of its time.”

Well our tapa is pretty awesome, though our tattoo department sorta is lacking…

Isiah Mustafa was also kind enough to visually demonstrate how manly a man can be when decked out in the savage attire of the local, bloodthirsty savages that are the Fijians.

Well. Not quite. The shells on the grass skirt was a nice touch nevertheless.

Now all they have to do is make a dry body wash with the name ‘Tabu Sili’ and it’s all set.

Lol Photo(s) of the Month – Vehicle Pwnage

Wilson — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 11:09:07 +0000

Begun, the Mobile Phone Wars has. At least the road warrior part of it.

For those who came in late, the two vehicles shown in the photos below belong to Fiji’s two mobile phone operators, Digicel and Vodafone Fiji. Judging from the angles at which both vehicles sustained damage (CSI training tiko vei iko saraga), the Vodafone truck had all the fun of owning the Digicel car. As to who exactly who’s fault this is – we can only imagine.

For the meantime, enjoy the photos and bask in the knowledge that this price war is only starting to heat up.

Shiny policeman is shiny.

The front right tire looks slighty sad

Who will own the dome?

Wilson — Wed, 17 Dec 2008 11:42:00 +0000

We all know the deal. What was formerly known as the Post Fiji National Stadium has gone through several naming iterations thanks in part to the power of the advertising dollar. For each passing year the stadium goes through a name reboot and becomes whoever has bought out the right to plaster their name all over the front and further advertising banners surrounding the lot.

While I’m still waiting for Maxim to sponsor their title on the front, the more pressing question as to who will be the brand new name owner of a gymnasium bears some thought and light photoshop skills. A brief runthrough the daily newspapers will reveal the heavy hitters and most probable bidders for next years naming rights, if only by viewing the number of full page adverts per company. Since vodafone is the current owner for this years stadium, the remaining large businesses are all game.

Of course, with the disappointment at Vodafone for creatively calling the gym an Arena, we can only hope that next year’s offering will be somewhat more…awesome. However, instead of sitting on our laurels praying that someone will have the balls, nay, the adventurous spirit, to come up with an awesome title, we’ve decided to take that brave step and give a few ideas of what the stadium might look like had one of the decision makers decided to have a ball.

First up; If Courts Homecentres were the successors.

It was a long time ago, but the one jingle from Courts that was forever lodged in my head was the “Courts, Mammoth, superstore! Best in every way!” (Insert trumpeting noise). With that irreversible tune, Courts would do well to keep that same title and use it as their identifier, giant Mammoth and all.

Next is one of Fiji’s biggest retail outlets, Morrish Hedstrom.

Because Colliseum + 300′s Sparta = Awesome. Nuff said. (Thanks Sharky! )

And lastly, the most likely candidate for 2009, because any competition is good competition, Digicel.

I laugh if life throws us a curveball and instead goes with some totally out of the blue company such as the 99c shop.

If that were the case, to quote the Watchmen, “God help us all”.

Out with “Bula” and In with “Assalam Alaikum”

Allen — Sat, 06 Dec 2008 04:48:00 +0000

I was searching online for cheap flights to Fiji (don’t ask ><) and then I came across this website – www.bookcheapflightsonline.com

What caught my eye is the picture chosen to depict the island paradise Fiji.

Gone are the white sandy beaches and coconut trees on a sunny day, that we are so used to seeing when promoting Fiji to the world.

I guess a change is good.

Also take time to critique the information

Lulz Photo of the Month

Wilson — Wed, 01 Oct 2008 11:52:00 +0000

50 Brownie points for whoever can point out what’s wrong with this picture.

Hint: It has something to do with the previous post