Archive for May 11th, 2010

There are wingers in a rugby team, and there are wingers. Rupeni Caucau used to be a wing. And when he was the wing for the Fiji Team, everybody said this fucker could run.

Regarded by many as the greatest attacking player in world rugby, he has as many tries to his name as his no-shows, marijuana bans and failed passports. No other fiji player has garnered so much love and hate at the same time as Rupeni. Well. Maybe Serevi. But that’s sevens. We’re talking about the big boys here.

Speaking of big, Rupeni has recently gone the way of the whale, putting on pounds to place him in the running for both wing and prop. Personally I blame the french and their apple tarts. Seriously. As he is now, he surprised even me, and trust me, I’ve seen some pretty chubby rugby players in my time, but none as hefty as him.

However, while they may share the tipping scales element, there’s something they all lack compared to him, a vital point that separates the fat rugby players, from the others. They’re not Caucau. French apple tarts be damned, overweight or underweight, Caucau still possess the speed, agility and allround what-the-fuckery he had back when he was in his prime. He’s packing on the pounds, but he’s still running in the tries.

Watching the above video is an exercise in amazement as you see Caucau receive the ball, and like an eel, slips through the defense like a hot knife through butter. Oh the defense tries to stop him. I can see why they have hope. It’s just one fat dude right? WRONG. Fat dude is magically drenched in oil, you-no-tackle-me-voodoo and so much good luck he’ll make any Irish green with envy. And speed? As the second score demonstrates, fat don’t matter if you can still outrun FOUR rugby players. (Although it does result in a funny cartwheel at the end )

This man better be allowed to play for Fiji come the 2011 Rugby World Cup. Or no amount of french pastry is going to save the Fiji Rugby Board from the ensuing wrath of the fans.

Courtesy of Rugbydump.com