Archive for September, 2008

Digicel to open in Fiji, brings R&B Crooner

Digicel, the upcoming gargentuous thorn-in-the-side to mega-corp Vodafone, is due to officially open its doors next week Wednesday, 1st of October here in Fiji, bringing to an end the years long monopoly Vodafone had on the local mobile phone industry.
While this may sound like good news to some, the more interesting tid bit of info was which musical artist they’d bring to entertain/disuade the locals during opening day. More marketing then friendly peace offerings to the competition before beginning cut throat business, Digicel is known for impressive, near festival quality opening shows in the countries it opens in.


A free concert, massive promotions, the works.

As impressive as it sounds, I was more interested in who Digicel would bring to Fiji for their mega opening ceremony. Since a repeat of Shaggy’s performance here wouldn’t be original, let alone fair to the friendly tongans (malo to ya’ll tongan readers – yes all 2 of you (: ), any musician was fair game.
After some asking around, a fair bit of bribing and buddy building relationships over booze and grog, rumours have began to surface over who exactly Digicel is bringing to our much hallowed shores for the night’s entertainment. Bear in mind this isn’t official until actually officially announced by Digicel themselves, but a spin on the rumour mill will add a bit of fun to the mix.

Yes, thats right. Rumour has it that we’re getting the chubby chase of hip hop, the rolly polly of R&B, Sean Kingston, singer of such hits as beautiful girls, love like this and What is it.
Surprised? A little bit. Perhaps I was hoping for the return of the UK super reggae band UB40, since their previous concert here in Fiji was more awesome then booze induced sex anywhere. But hey, if it’s a free show, then what’s there to complain about? This, with Vodafone’s car razy promo, signals the beginning of more mega promos on the horizon.
Who were you hoping for?
EDIT: Well, there you have it.

While Sammy G and Mr Grin were of little surprise (I have a feeling this concert will look great on their resume), KatchaFire was somewhat out of the blue.
Also…the Millenium Orchestra? Unless this Orchestra does UB40 covers, I’m not quite sure how they’ll fit into the grand scheme of Hip Hop/Reggae/Rap performances come Wednesday, but I’m always open to surprises :)

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The Art of Street Selling


Picture this:
It’s a perfectly good day to be out and about in the city. Your watch has just registered a little after 1pm, and the pavements are packed with office people out of their work zones and heading towards the nearest lunch restaurant. With your mind focused on your destination, you make your way through the hustle and bustle of the crowd, perhaps oblivious to everything but what’s infront of you, only taking note to worm your way around the incoming tide of bodies when - 
“Brother, buy a laptop.”
If you heard that sentence, nearly whispered, never shouted, and managed to both process and understand the implications of what was said in a split second, then congratulations, you’re a robot. For the rest of us non-logical thinkers, the oft casually intoned sentence offers up a business opportunity that is, at first appearences, simple, but carries with it significantly darker overtones.
It gets me everytime. The sentence is said, nay, murmured, my mind slowly registers someone speaking to me, yet my feet are still carrying me forward, oblivious to the offer. It’s usually after a few steps then does it occur to me that hey, I think that guy that I passed back there was trying to sell me a laptop. A few more steps, I slow down, and turn my head to look at mr laptop seller.
These guys are street smart, you have to hand it to them.
For one thing, they dress unremarkably. Not too flashy, not too scruffy, nothing that gives them away as a salesman of ‘opportunity’. You can find them always with a friend, and casual talk is exchanged between the two, often with a joke slipped in for good effect. To the unknowing eye, they could be just waiting for a friend before heading off for a tasty meal at the suva market. What betrays them however is their occassional focus of attention on certain types of people who regularly pass them. Young teenagers who dress well, businessmen hurrying to an appointment, casually dressed uni students who may have an interest in portable music players, these are the type of people who hold the seller’s interest most intimately.
When they’ve marked a potential buyer, they make sure they line themselves up when their target is heading towards them. Always on the side of the crowd, they never present themselves as a street hawker, and it is this pretence that keeps them (sometimes) invisible from the appropriate authorities. When said target walks pass them, their sales bid is casually spoken, as if they were yarning with an old acquintence.
“Hey brother, want to buy a phone?”
Why all this effort into looking as inconspicuous as possible? Most probably, it’s because the product on offer didn’t reach the street seller’s hands via a registered distributor ;)
Stolen goods have two markets. The thief’s personal interest, and other people’s personal interest. Since said product is on the market, it’s obvious that other people’s interest takes precedence over the thief’s own, and hopefully will fetch a handy dollar, if they can make a sale as quickly and as drama-less as possible. Technically, while any product can be made ‘available’ to the public, the smaller and easily concealed ones are on display. Watches, iPods/mp3 players and mobile phones remain the most popular, with laptops a close third.
There was a story a few years ago that I can’t seem to find the link online, but it involved a street seller conning some poor victim out of his money by selling a laptop case filled with soap (or stones, can’t recall which one). The conman had convinced his target that the laptop case did indeed contain a laptop inside. How the case was never opened before the transaction was completed, we shall never know…
I haven’t quite had the chance to purchase anything from these so called street sellers, since (a) I have a fine mobile phone and wrist watch thank you very much and (b) whenever I turned around to check out what exactly was on offer, the results usually were a tad bit disappointing. Of course, buying stolen goods is a big no no, but it can’t hurt to check it out. I’ve yet to meet the infamous conman who is selling the laptop ‘soap’ case, (I’m guessing he’s probably in the Bahamas somewhere, enjoying the good life by now) but I remain optimistic.
Who knows? I might just strike another luck…

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6 Signs Fiji is nearing ‘Civilization’ Quality



Having come in contact with several tourists over the past few weeks and hearing their impressions of Fiji, it dawned upon me how far we’ve progressed from its days of head hunting, neighbour eating, and selective afro growing. A simple stroll through town will reveal important looking businessmen sealing important deals on their important cell phones, while children hum along to the latest hip hop/pop/reggae tunes with the help of their iPods. Giggling teenage girls compare their latest trendy buys from fashion stores around the corner, and in the midst of this all, various street modded cars zoom around, blaring ‘Gasolina’ through their daddy bought speakers.


Sure we see these things everyday, but to the first time tourist, first impressions last. Out of curiosity, I decided to take a look around and tried to see things from their point of view. When a tourist first sets foot on our land, he/she would run through a mental checklist that may include whether or not the locals have electricity, (running off assumption here folks, feel free to think otherwise) running water or anything that represents said ‘civilization’.
Of course, as all locals know, Fiji passed that test a long time ago, and then some. While I’d like to think that we’ve come a long way, lets take a look at exactly how much has progressed since good ol’ Bligh set sea-weary eyes upon our infamous shores.
1) We got McDonalds

Nothing says global commercialization like Mcdonalds. When you can open up a small version of 1st world ideals in the remotest parts of the world, Fiji doesn’t seem that far off from everyone else. Considering the fact that the first branch was opened in Nadi, the gateway to Fiji (thanks in no small part to their airport), the golden arches are a welcome sight to all incoming tourists familiar with fast food and the slightly creepy mascot. When the second branch opened in Suva, we knew they were here to stay.

2) We got Internet


The world became that much smaller when the internet was brought to Fiji. From that fateful day when Telecom introduced the concept of shared communication, we were never the same. Imagine – now we could keep in touch with the rest of the cool people from around the world via MSN! Now we could read the latest news of what was going on continents away and not have to wait for the 6pm local news! Email made itself at home with both business houses and private homes alike, spam and all. Porn was no longer restricted to the tattered, well thumbed magazines that were a few years old, but was readily available in all its full, DVD quality glory! Of course, the hourly disconnects were a pain, as were the high phone bills due to the numerous reconnection attempts the computer modem made to the overloaded telecom server, but it was a small price to pay for downloaded seasons of The Simpsons and Takashi’s Castle.

3) We got MTV



Albit on a pay channel, but still! To prove that Fiji is up-to-date with all that is ‘hip’ and ‘cool’ (makes alien ears sign with fingers), we brought MTV to our shores, and the corruption of the future generation began anew. To be honest, it was (correct me if I’m wrong) the Coca-cola Power Jammer that started it all, but the influence of MTV cannot be denied. Even today, we can see the influence of such a life style, with krump and local hip hop in full bloom. Where will this all go from here? Who knows?

4) We get Movies before Australia and New Zealand (sometimes)

For serious? Well…to the best of my knowledge, yes. We, the little country in the middle of the pacific, constantly pushed around by the upper powers of the 1st world country watch dogs (or so the left wing conspiracists would like to believe), by some strange powers that be, have Hollywood movies that open first at our beloved Damodar Village cinemas first, before they even see the light of the projector in Australia and New Zealand. I may have to check now to see if that still happens, but when I was growing up, it was common knowledge to people who had just arrived from Australia or New Zealand that movies that had already run their screening course in Fiji were just beginning to open there. This, I believe, is something worth investigating :)

5) We got more than one television channel

The ultimate pointer when deciding whether Fiji is still in the dark ages or has settled amongst the stars. One locally produced television channel in a country is mandatory, when the infrastructure has been set up by the local government and set in motion. We were there once. Fiji One Television dominated the … television landscape for so long, it seemed almost blasphamous to even think of having an additional station take up space on our local tv screens. Who out there was brave enough to take on the titan that was Fiji TV? Not only did they bring us ER, Seasame Street, and X-Files, but for a time (all too brief in my opinion) they provided BBC free to air during off peak hours. That was awesome. However, after showing Hercules reruns again and again, another channel didn’t look so bad, and with the government breaking open the tv market, it was only a matter of time before Mai TV stepped in to provide an alternative. And we were happy.
6) We got four two lane roads (corrected because I’m a noob)



This particular point is something close to my dear heart. In the dark ages of single lane roads between Suva and Nausori, traffic jams were such a common occurance that I began to believe that all of civilization ran on roads such as ours. Seeing multi-lane roads in the US through movies was an eye opener to what we were missing out here. Then, lo and behold, the government (then :P ) stepped in and began the arduous task of building a highway that had – what? 2 lanes? No. Way. But it happened! Now queues are a thing of the past (in the old queue places, but with poor planning, bottling up of traffic happens else where now =_=)! Now we can speed through certain parts of the Kings Road on our superior 2 lane road, confident in the knowledge that this is how it’s done overseas. This is how Uncle Jone in California drives to work. On a road with more then one lane. Beautiful.
Bear in mind though that this post doesn’t reflect the real thing when it comes to Fiji and its development pace. We’ve still got a long way to go if we want to look anything like Australia/New Zealand in terms of the advancement of society. Look at this as merely an observation more tongue in cheek then mirror reality, and make your own hypothesis from there.
Agree? Disagree? There’s the comment button ;)
PS: I’ve posted a poll on the right, asking you people what you think was the most important development that brought us in sight of being nominated as a country that isn’t missing out much on some of the creature comforts easily afforded by our neighbours.

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Watchmen Homage Image of the Month

Photo taken just down the road from Dudley High School in Toorak.
Horrible picture – I’ll be sure to take a better one next time round ><

“I hear always the admonishment of my friends:

“Bolt her in, constrain her!” But who will guard
the guardians? The wife plans ahead and begins with them!”
Every morning on my way to work, I walk past this particular signpost. When I glance up and see the smiley face on the sign, I can’t help but think of the smiley face from the renowned comic “The Watchmen” as well as the upcoming movie. Sure the similarities may be far fetched, but the imagery intrigues me nonetheless.
PS: Who will watch the watchmen? translated into fijian - o cei dau sarava na dau tina?
Why? For showoff’s sake.
PSS: Thanks to Freda for the Fijian translation :)

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Apologies for an unannounced AFK

So I apologise for not updating the blog. Various forces have conspired against me, such as my temperate internet connection at home, a heavy work load, and a self imposed break. But fear not, loyal readers, for those were but bumps in the somewhat patchy road of life, a mere inconvenience that was surely negated by my love for both story telling as well as the use of long winded sentences, typed or spoken.

More interesting dialogue/stories/muses to come :)

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