Archive for October, 2007

Vibrators are Required. By Law.

When you get not one, not two, but three emails, all in the space of 10 minutes, all having the same attachment as well as the same call to action, you know you can’t say no to something like this.

Apparently this picture has been making the email rounds today, and while I’m sure all the office workers have had their fair share of laughs, its time for the rest of us to admire the legacy of the Labasa Magistrate Court Registry Office and their deft grasp of the English language.

I guess this just about confirms one of the many uses of the trusty mobile phone amongst the Legal eagles. Good to know our trusty tax dollars are being spent on their healthy libidos ;)

PS: A big thanks to the guys who sent this to me…

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The "Gulong ng Palad" Plague


If you’re living in Fiji and haven’t been living under a rock, then I’m sure you may have heard of the Philippine soap opera/love story, “Gulong ng Palad” or locally known as “Gulong” for short.

The popularity of “Gulong” in this country is so widespread, that if I stopped and asked every second person on the street about the Philippine soap, they would know exactly what I’m talking about. It’s even popular in rural villages that have electricity or a generator.

The story of “Gulong ng Palad” is set around two lovers, Luisa Santos and Ricardo “Carding” Medel, who are from two different social classes… that is all that I will say. You can go out and ask your friend, neighbour or a workmate in Fiji for a proper synopsis.

The soap is set in the Tagalog language, so if you are able to understand Tagalog, then you’ll feel right at home, otherwise subtitles are provided in English for your own convenience.

On the issue of subtitles, it’s quite amazing that many people in the village are drawn to “Gulong”, and have contributed to it’s popularity here. Amazing, because English obviously isn’t the primary language. So, I’m guessing that there are probably one or two translators for a household watching “Gulong” in the village.

“Gulong ng Palad” is sold cheaply at your local pirate DVD outlet, and comes in a series of eight (8) discs, with each disc having a length of four (4) hours. So that’s thirty-two (32) hours in total, of your life right there.

Pirate copy of “Gulong ng Palad” (Part 1 of 8)

Don’t worry, it isn’t all that painful or torturous as you may think. The story is so captivating that most viewers tend to lose track of time, sleep, and even responsibilities.

There have been numerous incidents of people staying up all night watching “Gulong”, with a roll of orchid, softly, or other toilet brands by their side. Please note that the roll of toilet paper isn’t for the wiping of the posterior whilst watching “Gulong”, but for the tears i.e. from the eyes.

Carding and Luisa For Life!!!!!!!11!! XD

On a parting note, if the “Gulong ng Palad” plague has spread to your household, please keep a box of Kleenex or your favourite toilet roll by your side because this show is known to get the water works running.

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This is Teivovo!

There’s something to be said about the depths of boredom, and the hilarity that ensures. When you couple that with the trappings of modern technology, nothing is sacred.

Of course, I’m assuming this guy was bored when he made this video. Surely thats all there is to this? A need to karaoke yourself to the Black Rose “Teivovo” song, regardless of the fact that you know half of the words…but who cares? As long as you do that whole head-banging ‘teivovo’ thing, widen your eyes, flare your nostrils and adjust your camera to zoom in on your…nose…as long as it keeps you occupied, then where’s the harm in that?

Funnily enough, although you’ve pretty much seen the whole video in the first “teivovo” chant of the song, you can’t tear your eyes away from the screen, wanting to know what other tricks this guy has up his sleeve…

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What Really Unites FIJI??? – Part Two/Rua/Deux/Zwei

In an earlier post “What Really Unites FIJI???“, the social networking website “Hi5 was given special mention. Well surprise surprise, there’s a new kid in town and its name is…

Bebo
(A not so good example of a Bebo Profile)

Yes, “Bebo” is gaining momentum and popularity amongst the youth of FIJI. I guess this is due to its free interactive features, which include Bebo Skins, Bebo Bands, Bebo Authors, Bebo Groups, Bebo Mobile, Bebo Lingerie… ok scratch that last one out, just testing your attention span.

I bet that many of you have or had accounts on Bebo, or even Hi5. If not, then you’re probably on MySpace, Facebook, Friendster, Xanga, etc; or probably had your account deleted because your chick or dick dumped you, but lets not touch on that.

On a whole, it’s quite encouraging to notice that the people of this nation are becoming more internet savvy, and particular with their online activity and choice of online social network. As for myself, it’s all starting to wear thin on me. I’m beginning to relish the looks from strangers who may stare because they recognise you from your online public profile. [chokes]

Nevertheless, I have decided to keep my online profiles active but that’s because I’d like to “truly be considered to be from FIJI XD

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If You Cant Handle the Heat…

BruceL: hey man
how’s it been

Wilson: sup :)

so? whats been keeping bruce busy these days?

BruceL: SIGH, DON’T ASK

i’m looking at some funny shit to take my mind off some things
magnify visitor 20 Oct 15:15:48 www.google.com.fj fuck fiji http://failedparadise.blogspot.com/
this is hilarious
search keywords ‘fuck fiji’
XD

Wilson: loooool

dont be hatin’ ;P
poor guy
must be from wales ><

BruceL: it came from ‘google.com.fj’

i’d say to this fucker ‘fucking immigrate already’
LOL

Wilson: oooooooh nasty :D

BruceL:yeah, if u can’t handle the heat, immigrate!

LOL!

Wilson: nice one :)

BruceL:that’d make a great shirt :D

zomg did i tell u that’s copyrighted?

Wilson: really?

BruceL: don’t steal it u thief!

yes
just now
yeah, if u can’t handle the heat, immigrate! (c)
OMG
i want that shirt!!!!!!!!11
perfect shirt to wear during the festive season
it’ll be an IN YOUR FACE to those ‘checking out what it’s like back home ‘ ppl
seriously though, that’s a nice line :D

Wilson:

there are times when you scare the shit outta me
specially when you go on one of your fuckin rants ><

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