You see it happen every day in the news. “X number of men broke into family’s house and terrorise/ransack/rob/trash belongings. Several of the family members were injured in the ensuring scuffle, and one required stitches…”

Yeah, we’ve all read about it. Of course, we all can’t help but feel a tad detached from the event, since we weren’t there to witness the tragedy unfold before our very eyes. I mean sure, rage at how such a thing could continue to happen unabated while the police take their sweet time arriving at the crime scene is normal, even a given, but there’s always this small part of us that would shrug and continue with our lives.

Until it happens to you.

And your whole perspective of the world does a backflip, and nothing ever is the same again.

Yes fellow readers (thats right, all 3 of you!) your fellow blogger-wannabe not only saw a bloody home invasion/robbery happen, but actually got involved in a showdown of bottle throwing, lovo stone tossing and all out swearing and yelling.

It was a slow Saturday night so I decided to have a few drinks at my kai’s house in Raiwaqa.

For those of you who are not quite clear on the reputation of Raiwaqa, let me explain.

Raiwaqa is the ‘bronx’ of Suva. Well come to think of it, there are actually several suburbs that you could categorize as ‘bronx’, but we’ll just go with Raiwaqa right now. Cramped living conditions, housing estates, and low income earners are all general indicators of a high crime rate in the area. Due to the closeness of the families living together, everyone knows everyone else. If you’re not from Raiwaqa, everyone will know for sure.

As will the criminal elements.

Next to my kai’s house is a home that’s usually up for either rent or sale. This house was formerly owned by an indian family. I’m not sure if they moved places for private reasons, or the incessant attempted robberies. Apparently quite a number of families/individuals have shifted into and out of the house because of its popularity with the local thugs. Heck even a policeman had the place to himself for two weeks till he gave up and moved on. Must be bad feng shui.

At the moment a chinese couple bought the house and had moved in, and have stayed there for about 3 weeks. Thats 3 weeks of non-house-robbery-attempts mind you. Last Saturday, that lucky streak came to an end.

It was around 8:30pm, which, when I look back, was quite early for anything crime related. My mates and I had settled into a relaxed evening with a jug of vodka and orange juice. There were my mates and I, my kai, his sister and her boyfriend, and an uncle. The conversation was centered around whether Superbad would be worth the 1:30pm screening. I recall being half half towards the movie, since a part of me felt at ease, cross-legged on the floor, yarning about nothing in particular, while the other half had recalled good reviews on Rotten Tomatoes.

It was at moment when I heard yelling and shouting coming from outside. For the most part, I ignored it. Most of this sort of screaming and such was usually the result of a family dispute that had spilled outside and in the open for everyone else to hear/watch. Hell, it could have been a rowdy group of guys who had one drink to many and were embroiled in some sort of macho display.

We kinda just sat there and ignored the yelling, till my kai’s sister decided to go and check out what all the fuss was about. She stood up and went beside the window, peeping through the curtains. I had ignored her watching, and was about to call for another round when she screamed “BOYS!”

Suddenly, it was apparent that the yelling wasn’t just a few people arguing. Amongst the muddle of shouts there was a clear and distinct “HELP! HELP US!” and I went numb. We all leaped to our feet, with kai leading the way to the back door, yelling “OI! OI MAGACHINANA DOLA DOLA NA KATUBA!” <oi oi! fuck man open open the door!>

When we all burst out from the back door, immediately infront of us it was clear just what exactly was going on. The Neighbour’s front door had about 8 guys gathered around it, all fully clothed in black and wearing balaclavas. They were all engrossed with attempting to open the front door, and were ignoring both the screaming from the house’s occupants, as well as our own yelling. It was obvious that they knew that their only hope at getting anywhere with the now public robbery was to get the front door open.

The above video was captured by good ol’ manumanu’s phone, so the picture quality obviously sucks. But if you strain your ears, you can hear the thieves yelling for the owner of the house to open his door. Yeah right. As if that was going to happen. Oh, and the very distinct screaming is my kai’s sister. She’s got quite the voice for situations like this…

My kai ran up to the fence that divided the properties and was shouting “OI! WHAT THE FUCK YOU DOING? OI! GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE!” When the robbers didn’t pay attention, he turned at us and called for stuff to throw. What was I doing? Standing right there and attempting to call 911. In the middle of all the ruckus. Not a very wise thing, I was about to find out.

One of my friends had fetched the empty bottles of beer that were piled up next to the house, and pretty soon those bottles were flying over the fence and right onto the criminals. Soon, one of the criminals got hit, and he ducked, while yelling in fijian, “hey! hey! Watch it! Someone might get hurt!” Later one of the guys who was drinking with us said he laughed when he heard that. “Well Duh!” he grinned.

At that moment I wasn’t grinning. While the whole group of thugs was still trying to get the door open, two of them had broke off, and in between the yelling and swearing, proceeded to pick up whatever was in that yard and toss it back at us. That was when shit was really starting to get scary. Bottles, the yard chair, lovo stones, heck, even a bloody bucket filled with water was seen flying over the fence. I pulled my kai back behind the car, but he resisted, and tried to look for other stuff to throw over. He had a hammer in his hand, but according to him, “…it was brand new…I thought twice about throwing it…”

One of the hugh cinder blocks thrown from the other side made its way into the home’s kitchen window. Another one landed squarely on kai’s nuts. Yes. Thats right. His chuckles. That score knocked the wind out of him, and this time I successfully pulled him behind the car as more lovo stones and the lawn chair made their way across the yard. As he knelt on the ground holding his nuts in his left hand, I was like “Oh shit, we’re fucked.”

Eventually, the yelling subsided, and after checking to see that no more objects were being tossed our way, I came out to see what had happened. The robbers, unsuccessful, had left the scene as quietly as they had come, and an eerie silence had settled upon the compound. Kai stood up, albit painfully, and limped his way to the fence, checking to see if his neighbour was alright.

“Hey, you alright my man?” A weak voice could be heard from behind the grill doors. “Yes, yes I am fine, thank you.” “You did good man, you did good.”

Ironically, a dog appeared out from underneath the stairs of the neighbour’s house, walked onto the porch, and started to bark at us. We all looked at each other incredulously. Where was this dog when all that shit was happening? Lame.

About 2 minutes later, the police arrived upon the scene, and a crowd gathered at the streets. The police took a few notes about which way the thieves left, how many were there, and then took off quickly. I later learnt that this was how the police dealt with such a situation. They speed around the district, keeping an eye out for people who are running or in groups. If you’re innocent, but happen to fit the description of what the police are after, then you’re pretty much in for a free ride to the police post.

After the police left, we all made our way back inside, observing the damage done to the window. Obviously we were all shook up, and thankfully there was a bottle of vodka to calm the spirits. But my hands were still slightly shaky after a few minutes, and I sat in silence as the rest of the guys swore, joked and drank while discussing the event that had just occurred. The uncle was smiling and recounting how, while everyone was screaming at each other, he was right at the fence, smiling and coaxing one of the nearby robbers, “Hey, boy. Come over this side of the fence. I teach you one quick lesson in boxing. Mai boy climb over!” He is one crazy guy

Looking back, I realized how I was relatively frozen and numb to the whole situation. Because I’m not really familiar with these sort of things, I found myself standing in the midst of the whole event while the other guys were running around looking for things to throw. Stupid I know. Hopefully I’ll learn to move abit quicker next time, and search for the object that can be thrown with maximum effect.

PS: A few weeks later, my kai was sick with fever at home, when the neighbour called him out.

“Hey, I heard you sick?”

“Yeah, feeling abit under the weather you know? Wassup?”

The neighbour reached into his jacket and pulled out a Johnny Walker bottle. “Well, I’ve got just the cure. This should fix things up abit” he replied with a wink.

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