It was on a slow Saturday afternoon that I found myself lazying at the local coffee store with Lawrence and Powerboy. I had earlier bought the Fiji Times because it had an ad I created for work.

Powerboy was browsing the back end section where the classifieds were situated when he came across this advert:

I would have laughed and thought nothing of it, if it wasn’t for the fact that Powerboy had reached for his mobile, and was starting to dial the number displayed.

Me: Dude. What the hell are you doing??

Powerboy: I’m going to call these guys.

Me: wtf? what – do you really have a penis problem or some shit like that?

Powerboy: No! Of course not! (I had narrowed my eyes at that moment) I’m just calling to see what they’ll say about the product Besides, I just bought a $20 recharge card, so I have to put that to good use

Obviously I wasn’t going to shake his resolve to get to the bottom of the ad, so I sipped my weird fruit juice mix thing and watched him make the call.

Half a minute later he hung up and smiled at me.

Me: What.

Powerboy: There was this Australian lady on the phone -

Me: Australian?? O_o What – did she sound like a dame?

Powerboy: Ssshh let me finish. I think she was australian, I couldn’t quite tell where she was from. Anyways, she said that there is a guy waiting in the Southern Cross hotel right now in room 412 with all the herbs and is ready to sell it straight away.

Me: Say…isn’t the Southern Cross hotel just up the road from here?

Powerboy: Yeah. She said these herbs were 100% natural, so there isn’t going to be any side effects. But she also said to hurry because the herb man will only be there until 5:30pm, then he’s off to other places.

There was a brief moment of awe as we both (Lawrence was fixing the coffee shop girl) absorbed the amazing info we had just found out. All Natural Viagra! In our own backyard! Civilization was finally at our front door! Of course, I didn’t consider purchasing the product, since I’m pretty young and well thank you very much. But the thought of some seedy little man, selling sexually enhancing herbs, (from a hotel room no less!) in a seedy hotel (The Southern Cross does have a reputation of being abit too friendly to its customers ) was something you’d normally hear of overseas, or even the movies Man has always been concerned about making things bigger, and now Fijians can be part of that evolutionary change!

Powerboy: …We go check him out?

Me: ummm…I’m not so sure. Do you even know how much those herbs cost? And what if he like, has a freaken gun or something? O_o

Powerboy: I don’t think he’ll have a bloody gun -

Me: Besides, The Southern Cross? Do you know the reputation that place has? The freaken Korea mobsters hang out there, doing their karaoke thing and getting massages and what not. No thank you, I choose life.

And that was that. It was kinda easy to forget this story, since both Powerboy and me considered ourselves young and healthy, and in no need for such a diet. But now we know, that an extra hour of drug-induced sex, is but a phone call away

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