Archive for March 21st, 2007

I’ve got a bad habit that I’m sure it makes me hated amongst the l33t people who work at McDonalds. Each and every time I go and eat there, I must make it my job to mutilate, decimate, and otherwise, destroy any piece of utensils (usually the coffee cup) that accompany the meal.

I’m sure its born out of boredom. You know how it goes.

Your friend will be running through the usual monologue of whatever new interest it is that has captivated his attention during the week…

“…by putting points into the Affliction Tree I can make sure my casting times are quick -”

And then the coffee cups go. I think it’s because of the ease at which you can tear it apart. While i’m uhuh-ing and yeah-ing my way through the conversation, my idyllic fingers grab a cup stirrer (an important tool in any destructorphile’s arsenal) and begin to make holes in the side of the cup. Soon the cup begins to take the form of a grotesque alien tin hybrid machine/coffee creature that can usually be found in those Z-Grade movies you find at the back of any good video store.

After the coffee cup has given up its futile resistance, it is usually broken down into tiny itsy bitsy pieces to show who’s the Lord of the table. No one is left alive.

It is at this point that I realize something. My friends all ordered coffee! Oh Joy!

With gleeful abandon, I take their now empty cups of coffee and proceed to stage 2…making more “It came from McDonalds” coffee cup monsters