Archive for March, 2007
The True Holy Trinity is revealed
I couldn’t believe my eyes. Was that really Jesus and the hindi god Rama, together, in one picture?
Upon closer inspection:
This is the first time ever I have come across a religious image such as this. And is that Sai Baba at the bottom? Woah! A Holy Trinity like no other!
I mean, what are the chances of having all 3 major (i’m not too sure Sai Baba is a major player in the religious world league, but hey, if he’s in, he’s in) religious icons in one single picture?
Apparently the taxi driver had obtained this fascinating picture from a friend in high school. Probably an aspiring photoshopper and not a staunchly religious one at that. No self respecting god fearing person would ever create an image like this and not be tempted to scribble/cut out the competitors. Can’t say the same for the driver though.
I have a sneaking suspicion that perhaps it wasn’t that kid from high school, but rather a scheming entrepreneur who decided to cash in on the lucrative religious market by including all 3 Gods in one picture and selling it.
“Think of the trees” he’s probably saying.
At least it promotes love for your fellow men…..’s gods 
PS: I wonder if every night when no one is around, they come alive Toy Soldiers style, and wage an epic battle with each other for the rightful title of Attention Holder. Kind of like that South Park episode of Jesus Vs Father Christmas. Only a bit more epic. And with more blasphemy.
…of the month
Posted by Wilson in ...ofthemonth, pic, wallpaper on March 27, 2007
It Came From McDonalds :O
I’ve got a bad habit that I’m sure it makes me hated amongst the l33t people who work at McDonalds. Each and every time I go and eat there, I must make it my job to mutilate, decimate, and otherwise, destroy any piece of utensils (usually the coffee cup) that accompany the meal.
I’m sure its born out of boredom. You know how it goes.
Your friend will be running through the usual monologue of whatever new interest it is that has captivated his attention during the week…
“…by putting points into the Affliction Tree I can make sure my casting times are quick -”
And then the coffee cups go. I think it’s because of the ease at which you can tear it apart. While i’m uhuh-ing and yeah-ing my way through the conversation, my idyllic fingers grab a cup stirrer (an important tool in any destructorphile’s arsenal) and begin to make holes in the side of the cup. Soon the cup begins to take the form of a grotesque alien tin hybrid machine/coffee creature that can usually be found in those Z-Grade movies you find at the back of any good video store.
After the coffee cup has given up its futile resistance, it is usually broken down into tiny itsy bitsy pieces to show who’s the Lord of the table. No one is left alive.
It is at this point that I realize something. My friends all ordered coffee! Oh Joy!
With gleeful abandon, I take their now empty cups of coffee and proceed to stage 2…
… of the month
Posted by Allen in ...ofthemonth, sex, student, teacher on March 19, 2007
ManilaRyce said…
summa cum laude
this thing has really exploded in the teacher’s face. it’s also too bad everyone blew it for the student. that just sucks. It’s not easy to get head of the class when you’ve got such a heavy load. however, i find defense of the teacher a bit hard to swallow.
All I can say is ‘no comment’.
Pirates Are Teh Evil!!1! Part 3
Posted by Wilson in technology on March 19, 2007
A regular for the Letters to the Editor wrote to the Fiji Times on the very same day the advert came out:
This guy must have must have read my previous blog entry concerning the use of the Internet 
He’s my hero.
PS: The lady at the bottom is Laisa Vulakoro, a local singer who was big in the live performance circles. Wonder if she uses the net as well…
The Seedy Underworld of Herbs ;)
Powerboy was browsing the back end section where the classifieds were situated when he came across this advert:
I would have laughed and thought nothing of it, if it wasn’t for the fact that Powerboy had reached for his mobile, and was starting to dial the number displayed.
Me: Dude. What the hell are you doing??
Powerboy: I’m going to call these guys.
Me: wtf? what – do you really have a penis problem or some shit like that?
Powerboy: No! Of course not! (I had narrowed my eyes at that moment) I’m just calling to see what they’ll say about the product 
Besides, I just bought a $20 recharge card, so I have to put that to good use
Obviously I wasn’t going to shake his resolve to get to the bottom of the ad, so I sipped my weird fruit juice mix thing and watched him make the call.
Half a minute later he hung up and smiled at me.
Me: What.
Powerboy: There was this Australian lady on the phone -
Me: Australian?? O_o What – did she sound like a dame?
Powerboy: Ssshh let me finish. I think she was australian, I couldn’t quite tell where she was from. Anyways, she said that there is a guy waiting in the Southern Cross hotel right now in room 412 with all the herbs and is ready to sell it straight away.
Me: Say…isn’t the Southern Cross hotel just up the road from here?
Powerboy: Yeah. She said these herbs were 100% natural, so there isn’t going to be any side effects. But she also said to hurry because the herb man will only be there until 5:30pm, then he’s off to other places.
There was a brief moment of awe as we both (Lawrence was fixing the coffee shop girl) absorbed the amazing info we had just found out. All Natural Viagra! In our own backyard! Civilization was finally at our front door! Of course, I didn’t consider purchasing the product, since I’m pretty young and well thank you very much. But the thought of some seedy little man, selling sexually enhancing herbs, (from a hotel room no less!) in a seedy hotel (The Southern Cross does have a reputation of being abit too friendly to its customers ) was something you’d normally hear of overseas, or even the movies Man has always been concerned about making things bigger, and now Fijians can be part of that evolutionary change!
Powerboy: …We go check him out?
Me: ummm…I’m not so sure. Do you even know how much those herbs cost? And what if he like, has a freaken gun or something? O_o
Powerboy: I don’t think he’ll have a bloody gun -
Me: Besides, The Southern Cross? Do you know the reputation that place has? The freaken Korea mobsters hang out there, doing their karaoke thing and getting massages and what not. No thank you, I choose life.
And that was that. It was kinda easy to forget this story, since both Powerboy and me considered ourselves young and healthy, and in no need for such a diet. But now we know, that an extra hour of drug-induced sex, is but a phone call away
Pirates Are Teh Evil!!1! Part 2
Posted by Wilson in technology on March 10, 2007
However. The local ISPs don’t really seemed to have put THAT much thought into making an anti-piracy stand. In fact…I think they’re pretty much fueling the idea without even knowing it.
Don’t believe me? Check this out. Below is an advertisement from the country’s biggest ISP (and the only megalomaniac, monopolistic one) advertising their new amazing “Connect with Connect” Internet deals…
Noticed anything unusual? Normal bunch of people all gathered around, using their own PCs and laptops to connect to the “wuuuuuuunnderful!” Internet…
However, upon closer examination….
“I’m always downloading cool music!” …. ? O rly?
Lets take a moment to examine all the possible LEGAL avenues of downloading music from the Internet LEGALLY and music that is actually on the top 40 charts and not some obscure indi hippy free download band desperate for attention.
1) Apple Online – These guys are great! They offer the latest albums, singles all in one convenient – oh no wait…you have to pay for it. Oh…no problem…they only cost like $1 each….thats cheap! Awesome! Oh … no wait…they require a credit card for an online transaction….
Do you know how hard it is to obtain a credit card from one of the banks around here? They ask so many questions about your work and whether or not you’ve fucked your boss, require so many legal documents that range from your last pay slip to a ‘permission to fuck your daughter’ form, and then when they’re happy – they slap the biggest interest rate ever on the card.
An average fijian does not have access to a credit card. Period. Unless of course if they own a big import company or stay overseas where obtaining a credit card is about as easy as standing on your front porch and have them hand deliver it to you.
2) Napster – They offer music too! And the latest ones as well! Wow! Lemme just….oh no…wait…credit card required for an online – nevermind…
Now…on the other hand….the FREE alternative which includes P2P software, a large sharing (at times viruses as well) community are as follows:
1) Limewire – Hmmm….doesn’t require a credit card
2) Emule – No credit card here…
3) Bittorrent – Nope. Can’t see the Master Card logo anywhere here…
As you can see, gentle, law abiding, tech-savy citizens who use the ever easy to obtain credit card to purchase music online are almost…non-existent here.
Is it safe to say that, theoretically, if we were all to have credit cards with affordable interest rates, we’d be all buying music from the real deal?
Hell no. We’d just borrow the CD from our friends and rip it straight to MP3 onto our hard drives Some of us anyways.
And don’t even get me started on movies…
PS: Upon further inspection of the advert in question, I couldn’t help but notice this part:
Oh yeah. Right. First off, unlimited downloads sounds like you’re using a really nice phat piece of broadband that’ll have your downloads within the minute.
No.
What they really meant was – Unlimited Downloads & High Speed Internet using our Ultra Uber phat 128k line which is quickly and mercilessly cut down to 56k after hitting the download cap of what? 750mb. Isn’t that great.
And by the way, just what is it you’re downloading? I thought so
Pirates are teh evil!1!
Posted by Wilson in lifestyle, technology on March 4, 2007
For as long as I can remember, pirating has always been around here in Fiji.You see, pirating was so prevalent, simply for the fact that there wasn’t any retail outlet that actually sold original software. Sure we had Music Stores selling music, but thats different. Back then everyone bought music cds. When it came to games and software…not much luck. We didn’t have an EB Games neighbourhood store to check out when its two days before our birthdays. There wasn’t any Blockbuster Videos around the corner to rent out some action flicks for the long weekend.
Nope.
For games it was always the same thing.
“Woah! You’ve got Prince of Persia? ….. borrow?”
And then we’d all pull out our plastic boxes of floppy disks and exchange them eagerly. A few years later its the same thing.
“Woah! You’ve got Need for Speed: Carbon? …. borrow?”
Out come the blank dvds and pats on the back.
However, times do change, and none more so then the access to purchase original games. Thanks to IMDVD, anyone can now order original PC games and be a proud owner of a original games, (though one game in particular only because its an online game) as well as support the industry!
Videos were slightly different, but still invovled…less originals then there were movies. My fondest memories of childhood was going to the neighbourhood store and picking out 2 or 3 action movies (pirated of course and at times, shot in the cinema), and at least 1 tape full of, apparently, Saturday morning cartoons from a television network in Australia. Someone had simply left the record button on, and basically taped everything that could fill up 3 hrs, advertisements and all. It was there that my love for toys that I couldn’t possibly obtain here grew as well. I still like them Transformers toys…
Now we’ve got a whole swag of video stores, all boasting original movies for hire, and I like that. Nothing beats a good old original. Of course, nothing also beats 8 pirated movies for $20 from that good ol’ computer store Comsol Fiji. Those guys copies are usually the latest movies still screening, and if their copies are slightly fuzzy…its ok because you pay only like $2 for one.
Hopefully, with the increased westernization of Fiji, that’ll mean more access to original software, movies and games, and with more cheap alternatives, piracy will be for once removed from this country and we can all fully support the Entertainment Industry worldwide…
Of course, people hope there will be peace in the Middle East too. Good luck with that.
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